Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct word choice and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it natural and limit to 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I had a lovely bike when I was a child. I often rode it with my friends around the neighborhood, usually in the afternoons after school. Because the area was quiet and safe, we would race each other and stop at a nearby park to play.

提案: Reduce hesitations and grammar errors, use linking words and provide a specific reason or example. Begin with a direct answer, then give one clear reason and an example. Watch subject-verb agreement and avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. One reason is that public transport is unreliable, so many people prefer cycling to commute. For example, commuters often bike to work to avoid delays and save money.

× Yes, I had a lovely bike when I was a child and it was my regular activity to write it with my friends and having some fun time together.

✓ Yes, I had a lovely bike when I was a child, and my regular activity was riding it with my friends and having fun together.

This sentence contains several issues within the allowed list: incorrect verb choice 'write' instead of 'ride' (verb choice falls under sentence structure errors, ID 26), and inconsistent verb forms: 'it was my regular activity to write it' is awkward and ungrammatical. Also 'having some fun time together' should be 'having fun together' (word choice/adverb use, ID 13). Correction uses a clear subject-verb structure: 'my regular activity was riding it' which properly uses the gerund 'riding' after a noun phrase 'activity'. Suggestion: use the correct verb 'ride' for bicycles, and after nouns like 'activity' use the gerund form (riding). Remove unnecessary words like 'some' before 'fun' in this context and place commas to separate clauses.

× Yes, bikes are uh, quite popular in my country because uh, public transportation are awful in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because public transportation is awful here.

The error is subject-verb agreement (ID 27): 'public transportation' is an uncountable noun phrase and requires the singular verb 'is', not 'are'. Also redundant repetition 'in my country' can be shortened to 'here' for naturalness (article/word choice issues, ID 22/13). Suggestion: match verb number to the subject; use 'is' with uncountable nouns like 'transportation'. Avoid repeating identical phrases.

× So people use their bikes to do their activities and to go to work and and daily activities.

✓ So people use their bikes to get to work and to carry out daily activities.

The sentence is repetitive and contains structural awkwardness (ID 26) and word choice issues (ID 13): 'do their activities' and 'daily activities' repeat the same idea, and there is a duplicated 'and'. 'Get to work' is the natural collocation for commuting; 'carry out daily activities' is clearer than 'do their activities'. Suggestion: remove duplication, fix the duplicated conjunction, and use natural collocations like 'get to work'.