Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and concision. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms (e.g., 'I do experiments on protein purification...') and avoid redundancy.

例: I’m a graduate student in biochemistry, specializing in protein structures. In the lab, I work on protein purification and crystallization to determine three-dimensional structures, which helps us understand how the proteins function.

提案: Provide a clear, current statement of where you study and use correct tense and vocabulary. Use linking words to add one specific detail about your department’s focus. Avoid unclear phrases like 'how protein pulled and the pot.'

例: I study at Korea University in the Department of Life Sciences. There, I learn molecular techniques and how proteins work in organisms, such as assays to test enzyme activity and cellular localization.

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatical. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Correct noun forms and pronouns (e.g., 'my supervisor supports my research' and 'access materials easily').

例: Yes, it’s a great place to study because my supervisor actively supports my research. For example, he advises me on experimental techniques and data analysis, and the university provides easy access to lab equipment and materials.

提案: Organize your response: state one clear desired change, then explain why with specific details. Use correct phrasing about temperature control and avoid fragmented sentences. Provide a brief result or benefit of the change.

例: Yes. I would like better temperature control in the lab because we work with temperature-sensitive proteins. For instance, more precise incubators and cold rooms would reduce protein degradation and improve experimental reliability.

提案: Give a concise, grammatically correct plan statement, then add one specific reason or goal. Use formal phrasing (e.g., 'I plan to pursue a PhD to...') and correct nouns ('research' not 'researcher').

例: After I graduate, I plan to pursue a PhD in biochemistry to deepen my research on protein structure and gain the skills needed for an academic or industry research career.

× Actually, I am a graduate student studying in biochemistry specializing in protein structures.

✓ Actually, I am a graduate student studying biochemistry, specializing in protein structures.

Unnecessary preposition 'in' before 'biochemistry' is incorrect; the correct collocation is 'studying biochemistry'. Also add a comma before the participial phrase for clarity.

× So in my laboratory I experiment protein purification and crystallization to determine the protein structure.

✓ So in my laboratory I work on protein purification and crystallization to determine protein structures.

The verb 'experiment' is normally used intransitively or with 'on' (experiment on something), but 'work on' is more natural here. Also 'protein structure' should be plural 'protein structures' if speaking generally. Use gerund form 'working on' or simple present 'work on' to match habitual action.

× I started at Korea University in Department of Life Sciences, so there I usually learned how protein pulled and the pot, how the protein functions in our organisms.

✓ I started at Korea University in the Department of Life Sciences, where I usually learned how proteins are purified and how proteins function in organisms.

Missing definite article before 'Department of Life Sciences' ('the Department'). 'Learned' should be present or past depending; 'learned' is fine but the clause needs passive 'are purified' for 'protein pulled' meaning purification. 'Protein' should be plural when speaking generally. 'the pot' is unclear and removed; rephrased to convey intended meaning.

× Yes, I think it is good place to study because my supervisor supports my researcher and sometimes advise me to improve my experiment skill and analyze the result so and then we can easily access the material for we age.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place to study because my supervisor supports my research and sometimes advises me to improve my experimental skills and analyze the results, and we can easily access the materials we need.

Missing article 'a' before 'good place'. 'researcher' is wrong; use 'research'. Subject-verb agreement: 'supervisor ... advises' needs third-person singular. 'experiment skill' should be 'experimental skills' (adjective + plural noun). 'result' pluralized to 'results'. 'material for we age' is incorrect; likely intended 'materials we need'. Also fix conjunctions and punctuation for clarity.

× MMM, Yeah. Actually I would like to make a temperature changes because I will let deal with protein.

✓ MMM, yeah. Actually, I would like to change the temperature settings because I will be dealing with proteins.

'Make a temperature changes' is ungrammatical; use 'change the temperature settings' or 'adjust the temperature'. 'Will let deal with protein' is incorrect; use 'will be dealing with proteins' to express future continuous action and plural 'proteins'.

× So we always keep it the cold in laboratories. So I always cold. So I wanna more control.

✓ So we always keep the laboratory cold, so I am often cold. I want more control over the temperature.

Word order and articles: 'keep it the cold' incorrect; use 'keep the laboratory cold'. 'I always cold' needs verb 'am' and better adverb 'often'. 'wanna' is informal; use 'want'. Add 'over the temperature' to clarify control object.

× Umm, after I graduate in my school, I wanna go to PhD program to deepen study in my researcher.

✓ Umm, after I graduate from my school, I want to enter a PhD program to deepen my study in research.

Use 'graduate from' not 'graduate in'. 'wanna' -> 'want to' and 'enter a PhD program' is natural. 'deepen study in my researcher' is incorrect; likely 'deepen my study in research' or 'deepen my research'. Also use noun 'research' rather than 'researcher'.