Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural, concise and better structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and incorrect word order (e.g., 'chem biochemistry'). Use linking words if you add details.

例: I’m a graduate student studying biochemistry, specializing in protein structure. Currently I’m doing research on how proteins fold, which I find fascinating.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then one clear supporting detail. Fix grammar (e.g., 'I work in a laboratory' and remove repetition like 'determining to determine'). Use linking words ('and', 'so') for coherence and keep it concise.

例: I study at Korea University. I also work in a lab where I focus on protein purification and crystallization to determine protein structures.

提案: Provide one clear reason with a specific example and use correct grammar (e.g., 'my supervisor supports me', 'equipment and resources' instead of 'materials and expense'). Use linking words ('because', 'for example') to connect ideas.

例: Yes, it’s a great place to study because my supervisor supports my research and we have excellent equipment. For example, the lab provides easy access to reagents and specialized instruments for experiments.

提案: Clarify your point with correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, explain why change is needed, and give a specific suggestion. Avoid unclear phrases like 'hide the temperature' and use linking words ('because', 'so') to explain consequences.

例: Yes, I would change the lab temperature because we keep it very cold for protein purification. As a result, it’s uncomfortable, so I would suggest slightly increasing the ambient temperature in common areas while keeping the samples cold in controlled units.

提案: Give a clear, well-structured answer: state your plan clearly then add a detail about where or why. Correct grammar: 'do a PhD' or 'pursue a PhD', avoid filler words ('mmm', 'yeah').

例: I plan to continue studying biochemistry, focusing on protein structure, and after I graduate I hope to pursue a PhD to deepen my research skills and work on structural biology projects.

× I am a student actually I am studying in Graduate School especially studying chem biochemistry like protein structure.

✓ I am a student. Actually, I am studying in graduate school, focusing on chemical biochemistry, especially protein structure.

Run-on sentence and inconsistent capitalization; use of 'chem biochemistry like' is unclear pronoun/word choice. Split into two sentences, capitalize properly, replace 'like' with 'especially' and clarify 'chemical biochemistry'. Use articles correctly ('graduate school').

× I study at Korea University now, and similarly I work a laboratory experimenting protein purification and crystallization, determining to determine the structure.

✓ I am studying at Korea University now, and I also work in a laboratory doing experiments on protein purification and crystallization to determine protein structures.

Mixed present simple and awkward constructions; use present continuous 'am studying' for current activity and 'work in a laboratory' with preposition. 'Experimenting protein purification' is ungrammatical—use 'doing experiments on' and 'to determine protein structures' for purpose.

× Yes, it's quite good to study because my supervisor support me. Yes, a lot of materials and expense. Yeah, we can easily access the material and use that in our experiment.

✓ Yes, it's a good place to study because my supervisor supports me. There are plenty of materials and funding. We can easily access the materials and use them in our experiments.

Subject-verb agreement error with 'support' (should be 'supports') also quantified expressions were awkward ('a lot of materials and expense'). Use 'There are' for existence and plural 'materials' and 'funding' for 'expense'. Pronoun agreement: 'material' -> 'materials' and 'that' -> 'them'.

× Uh, I wanna change the temperature. Yeah, actually I would like experimenting protein purification so the temperature always remain the low. So I am getting a cold, so I wanna hide the temperature.

✓ I would like to change the temperature. Actually, when I am doing protein purification, the temperature always remains low, so I am getting cold. I want to raise the temperature.

Colloquial 'wanna' should be formal 'would like' or 'want to'. 'Would like experimenting protein purification' is incorrect verb pattern; use 'when I am doing protein purification'. 'Remain the low' wrong word order and article; use 'remains low'. 'Hide the temperature' is wrong verb—use 'raise the temperature' to express increase.

× MMM, I want to study more in biochemistry especially protein structures. So I think after after graduating the school I would like to go or study post to PhD yeah.

✓ I want to study more in biochemistry, especially protein structure. After graduating from the school, I would like to pursue a PhD.

Redundant 'after after' removed. Use 'graduating from' not 'graduating the school'. 'Study post to PhD' is ungrammatical—use 'pursue a PhD'. Keep tense consistent for future intentions with 'would like to'.