Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng (1 câu chủ đề), sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và phát âm, tránh câu không hoàn chỉnh và từ lặp. Thêm thông tin hỗ trợ cụ thể (ví dụ: số lượng học sinh, cơ sở vật chất) dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Cụ thể: dùng thì đúng (I am a student), sửa 'very poor' thành ý đúng (very proud), và gom ý thành câu ngắn gọn.

例: I am a student at Laguna High School, which is the top school in my hometown. It has around 1,200 students and large modern buildings, so the campus feels spacious and well-equipped.

提案: Câu trả lời nên ngắn gọn, chính xác và tránh lặp lại thông tin. Sử dụng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng và có thể bổ sung 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ vị trí, loại trường).

例: I study at Laguna High School, an athletic-focused secondary school located near the city center. It emphasizes sports programs as well as academics.

提案: Cần câu trả lời trực tiếp kèm lý do cụ thể. Sửa ngữ pháp (has/has many), dùng danh sách rõ ràng và từ phù hợp (food club? maybe cooking club). Dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, also).

例: Yes, I think it's a great place to study because it offers many extracurricular clubs. For example, there are dance and football clubs, a sports club, and a cooking club that help students develop different skills.

提案: Ý rõ ràng nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp và dùng cấu trúc hợp lý. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề, sau đó nêu thay đổi cụ thể và lý do, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Ví dụ: 'I would like the school to...' và chia động từ đúng, danh từ số đếm (trees).

例: Yes, I would like the school to redesign the self-study area to make it more cozy and welcoming. For example, they could plant more trees, add comfortable seating and open a small coffee shop so students can relax and focus better.

提案: Cần nói rõ kế hoạch (study at university), sửa ngữ pháp và diễn đạt lý do mạch lạc (e.g., move to a bigger city, gain experience, tuition cost). Dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: mục tiêu + lý do + ngắn hạn/ dài hạn. Tránh câu rời rạc.

例: In the future I want to attend university in a larger city to gain more experience and better opportunities. Although studying there can be expensive, I hope to find scholarships or part-time work to support myself.

× Currently I'm a student at Laguna High School which is the top school in my hometown and I very poor to be a student here.

✓ Currently I'm a student at Laguna High School, which is the top school in my hometown, and I am very proud to be a student here.

The original sentence has sentence structure and word choice errors. 'I very poor to be a student here' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'very proud'. Also the sentence needs commas around the nonrestrictive clause 'which is the top school in my hometown' and the verb 'am' for the subject 'I'. Suggestion: include appropriate punctuation, use the correct verb 'am' and choose the correct adjective 'proud' rather than 'poor'.

× My school is so big or hurt and very and very.

✓ My school is very big and has many facilities.

The original sentence uses 'so big or hurt and very and very' which is meaningless and contains incorrect adjective usage. Replace with a clear adjective phrase 'very big' and add a phrase that makes sense in context such as 'has many facilities'. Suggestion: avoid repeated filler words and choose accurate adjectives or noun phrases to convey meaning.

× I study athletic high school, which is the top school in my hometown.

✓ I study at Athletic High School, which is the top school in my hometown.

The verb 'study' is fine in present tense but the preposition 'at' is missing before the school name. Also school names are capitalized. Suggestion: use 'study at' when referring to attending a school and capitalize proper nouns.

× Yeah, I really love my school because my school is have very club or group like dance club, Sports Club, foods, football club.

✓ Yes, I really love my school because it has many clubs and groups, such as a dance club, a sports club, a food club, and a football club.

Errors include incorrect verb 'is have' instead of 'has', missing articles before club names, and inconsistent capitalization. Also 'foods' should be 'food' as a club name. Suggestion: use 'has' for possession, include 'a' before singular club names, and use lowercase for common nouns unless part of official names.

× Yes, I really wish my school could redesign self study area to make it more cozy and welcoming.

✓ Yes, I really wish my school could redesign the self-study area to make it cozier and more welcoming.

Missing article 'the' before 'self-study area' and comparative adjective should be 'cozier' rather than 'more cozy'. Also 'self-study' should be hyphenated. Suggestion: include articles, use standard adjective comparative forms, and hyphenate compound modifiers.

× For example plant more tree and adding coffee shop.

✓ For example, plant more trees and add a coffee shop.

Parallel structure and verb forms are incorrect: use imperative verbs consistently ('plant' and 'add') and plural 'trees'. Also include 'a' before 'coffee shop'. Suggestion: keep parallel verbs and correct pluralization and articles.

× In the future I want to continue study university because I went to UH move a longer city and study so expensive and experience.

✓ In the future I want to continue my university studies because I will move to UH in a larger city, and studying there is expensive but would be a valuable experience.

Multiple tense and structure errors: 'continue study university' should be 'continue my university studies' or 'study at university'; 'I went to UH move a longer city' is incorrect—use 'I will move to UH in a larger city' or 'I will move to a bigger city to attend UH'; 'study so expensive and experience' needs rephrasing to 'studying there is expensive but would be a valuable experience'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms for future ('will move'), noun phrases for 'university studies', and clear comparative 'larger/bigger city'.