Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: もっと自然で簡潔なトピック文を最初に述べ、その後で具体的な説明を一つか二つ加えてください。語法（a freshman at university または a freshman at a university）、前置詞（since/at/from の使い分け）、および語彙（civil social issue→social issues）の誤りを直すと流暢さと正確さが上がります。また文が長くなるときは接続詞（and, also, such as）を入れて論理的につなげてください。

例: I'm a first-year student at a university in Tokyo. I began my studies this April, and I'm majoring in Global Studies, which covers subjects such as economics, politics and gender inequality.

提案: 発言は重複が多く、文法ミスと意味不明な箇所（"there are some nature that I can beat box"）が含まれます。まず短い主題文で場所を明確にし、その後に環境について具体的な特徴を1〜2点述べてください。単語選び（suburban の使い方、nature の数え方）と文の接続（and, so, because）を改善しましょう。日本語での具体的指示：最初に「大学は東京の郊外にあります」と述べ、次に「人が少なく静かで自然が多い」と具体例を続けてください。

例: I study at a university on the outskirts of Tokyo. It's a quiet, suburban campus with few people and plenty of green space, which makes it very peaceful.

提案: 肯定の返答は良いですが、理由の表現が不自然で語法ミス（some greenery that students can feel relaxation, opportunity → opportunities）が見られます。理由は具体的にして、接続詞（because, and, moreover）を正しく使い、複数形や適切な語順に注意してください。日本語での具体的指示：まず肯定文、次に"because"で1つ目の理由（緑が多く落ち着ける）、そして"also"や"moreover"で交流機会があることを続けてください。

例: Yes, I think it's a great place to study because the campus has a lot of greenery, which helps students relax. Also, there are many opportunities to meet international students from different countries.

提案: 要点は明確ですが、語法と自然さに改善が必要です（say the size of cafeteria→change the size of the cafeteria、does not have large number of students→doesn't have a large number of students、slightly small than→slightly smaller than）。短い理由と具体例（混雑時の状況など）を付け加えると説得力が上がります。日本語での具体的指示：まず"I'd change the cafeteria"と述べ、次に理由と具体例（例えば昼休みに座れない）を続けてください。

例: If I could change something, I'd make the cafeteria bigger. Although the university doesn't have a very large student body, the current cafeteria is slightly smaller than I expected and can get crowded at lunchtime.

提案: アイデアは明確ですが文法と表現の自然さ（my major which is global studies→my major, Global Studies, doesn't cover it; some country→a country; advertisement→advertising）が改善されればよりプロフェッショナルに聞こえます。将来計画には具体的な理由や希望する国、学びたい内容を一つ示すと良いです。日本語での具体的指示：最初に興味を述べ、その後でなぜ留学したいか、どの分野を学びたいかを具体的に説明してください。

例: I'm interested in graphic art, but my major, Global Studies, doesn't cover visual arts in depth. Therefore, I'd like to study abroad in a country known for design to deepen my knowledge of visual art and advertising.

× I am a freshman of university in Tokyo.

✓ I am a freshman at a university in Tokyo.

Use 'a university' (singular countable noun) with the preposition 'at' to indicate affiliation; 'of university' is incorrect in English. Use 'a university' rather than 'university' alone.

× I started to study there from this April.

✓ I started studying there in April.

English uses 'start + -ing' more naturally than 'start to + verb' for ongoing activities; 'from this April' is awkward — use 'in April' for the month when the action began. Also 'this April' is acceptable in some contexts but 'in April' is clearer.

× I am currently studying about global studies which includes economics, politics, gender inequality and another civil social issue.

✓ I am currently studying global studies, which includes economics, politics, gender inequality and other social issues.

Do not use 'studying about'; use 'studying' with the subject. Use 'global studies' as the field. 'Includes' agrees with the singular collective noun 'global studies'; 'another civil social issue' is unidiomatic — use 'other social issues'.

× As I said, I am currently studying in university in Tokyo and there are suburban, there is suburban, so there are not so many people and not so noisy place and there are some nature that I can beat box.

✓ As I said, I am currently studying at a university in Tokyo, and it is in the suburbs, so there are not many people and it is not very noisy, and there is some nature where I can relax.

Use 'at a university' rather than 'in university'. 'in the suburbs' is the correct phrase; avoid repeating. Use 'not many people' (plural) and 'not very noisy' (adverb modifying adjective). 'there is some nature' is awkward — use 'there is some natural area' or 'there is nature'. 'where I can relax' fits meaning; 'beat box' likely incorrect meaning.

× This is because there are some greenery that students can feel relaxation.

✓ This is because there is some greenery where students can feel relaxed.

Use 'there is some greenery' (uncountable noun) not 'there are'. 'feel relaxation' is unidiomatic; use 'feel relaxed'. 'where' introduces the place.

× Moreover, there are some good opportunity to interact with overseas students who are from other countries.

✓ Moreover, there are good opportunities to interact with overseas students from other countries.

Use plural 'opportunities' to match 'there are'. 'some' can be omitted; 'who are from other countries' is redundant after 'overseas students'.

× If I could change something, I would like to say the size of cafeteria.

✓ If I could change something, I would change the size of the cafeteria.

Use 'would change' to express a hypothetical alteration. 'would like to say the size' is ungrammatical; 'say' is incorrect verb. Include the definite article 'the cafeteria'.

× This is because my university does not have large number of students.

✓ This is because my university does not have a large number of students.

Add the article 'a' before 'large number' when referring to a countable quantity: 'a large number of students'.

× However, the size of cafeteria is slightly small than I expected.

✓ However, the size of the cafeteria is slightly smaller than I expected.

Use comparative 'smaller than' when comparing. Include the definite article 'the' before 'cafeteria'.

× I am currently interested in graphic art.

✓ I am currently interested in graphic art.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed.

× However, my major which is global studies cannot cover the study.

✓ However, my major, which is global studies, does not cover that area of study.

Insert commas for the non-restrictive clause. Use 'does not cover' for general present and 'that area of study' to be specific; 'cannot cover the study' is unnatural.

× That is why I would like to try to study abroad for some country to deepen my knowledge about visual art and advertisement.

✓ That is why I would like to try studying abroad in another country to deepen my knowledge of visual art and advertising.

Use 'study abroad in another country' not 'for some country'. Use 'studying' after 'try to' (both forms possible) and 'knowledge of' is the common collocation. Use 'advertising' rather than 'advertisement'.