Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize information: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “IU education.” Use correct articles and prepositions (e.g., “the Netherlands,” “stay in France”).

例: I am a senior high school student who will enter university next year. I hope to study either in the Netherlands or continue my education here in France because both offer strong international programmes.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence naming the school, then add one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector. Correct grammar: use articles and adjective order (e.g., “has a reputation for being”).

例: I study at Mac Institution, a senior high school in northern France. It has a reputation for academic excellence, but it is also known to be quite demanding.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer (Yes/No/It depends), then link reasons using connectors (because, however). Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “high academic level,” “very high”). Avoid adding unrelated conclusions; keep answer focused on the school quality only.

例: It depends. The school is very prestigious and has a high academic standard, but the intense pressure can make it hard to cope. Therefore, while it is academically strong, it may not suit students who prefer a less stressful environment.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating the question. Give one or two specific change suggestions, using linking words to explain reasons and contrast what should stay the same. Complete sentences and finish ideas—avoid trailing off.

例: Yes. I would like the school to reduce academic pressure and offer more extracurricular and international exposure so students can explore different interests. However, I would keep the campus and existing facilities as they are because they are good.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about your plans, then give one specific detail about location and subject. Use correct phrasing (“study international relations” and “the Netherlands”), avoid filler phrases like “It is a very good question.”

例: After high school, I plan to study abroad in the Netherlands and specialise in international relations because I want to work in diplomacy or international organisations.

× I am a student in a Senior High School and next year I will be in IU education and I will go to university.

✓ I am a student at a senior high school, and next year I will be in higher education and will go to university.

The original mixes register and has awkward phrase 'in IU education'. 'At' is the correct preposition for schools; 'senior high school' should be lowercased. Use 'higher education' to mean post‑secondary study and combine future verbs to avoid repetition ('will be' and 'will go' merged to sound natural). Improve clarity and flow by reordering.

× For the university I really want to go to Netherlands or to stay in France.

✓ For university, I really want to go to the Netherlands or stay in France.

Use 'for university' (no article 'the') or 'for the university' depending on context; when naming the country use the definite article 'the Netherlands'. 'To stay in France' should be 'stay in France' for parallel structure. Remove extra 'to' before 'stay'.

× I study in a Senior High School named Mac Institution.

✓ I study at a senior high school called Mac Institution.

Use 'at' with institutions and 'called' is more natural than 'named'. Lowercase 'senior high school'. 'In' is less appropriate for institutions.

× This is located in the north of France.

✓ It is located in the north of France.

Replace 'This' with pronoun 'It' to refer to the school. Sentence structure is otherwise fine; 'the north of France' is correct.

× This high school has reputation to be very good but also very demanding.

✓ This high school has a reputation for being very good but also very demanding.

Use the noun phrase 'a reputation' and the preposition 'for' with a gerund 'being'. 'To be' is not idiomatic here. Add the article 'a' before 'reputation'.

× It depends, because this high school is very prestigious and as a academic level very heights.

✓ It depends, because this high school is very prestigious and has a very high academic level.

'As a academic level very heights' is ungrammatical. Use 'has a very high academic level'—'a' before 'very high' and adjective order 'very high' before 'academic level'. 'Heights' is incorrect here.

× However, the academic pressure is sometimes very difficult.

✓ However, the academic pressure is sometimes very intense.

'Pressure' is not 'difficult'; use 'intense' or 'high'. 'Difficult' describes tasks, not pressure. This improves word choice and clarity.

× This is why I really want to go to a university in Netherlands.

✓ This is why I really want to go to a university in the Netherlands.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'Netherlands'. Also 'a university in the Netherlands' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× Yes, I would like the place where I study to make any changes.

✓ Yes, I would like the place where I study to make some changes.

'Make any changes' is odd in affirmative sentences; 'some changes' is the appropriate quantifier. The structure 'I would like [place] to make changes' is acceptable.

× For example, I would really like my high school to put less pressure on the students but also to broaden their horizons because this is like a bubble.

✓ For example, I would really like my high school to put less pressure on students and to broaden their horizons, because it feels like a bubble.

Use 'students' without 'the' for general reference. Use 'and' for parallel actions. 'This is like a bubble' is awkward; 'it feels like a bubble' is more natural.

× However, there are things like I don't want to change like the place or the.

✓ However, there are things I don't want to change, such as the location or the atmosphere.

Original is incomplete and repetitive ('like ... like'). Provide concrete examples ('location', 'atmosphere') to complete the sentence and use 'such as' for examples.

× It is a very good question because I am in this kind of plans for my future.

✓ That is a very good question because I have plans like that for my future.

'I am in this kind of plans' is ungrammatical. Use 'I have plans like that' or 'I am making plans like that'. 'That' better refers to the question.

× 1st, after high school I would really like to go study abroad like in Netherlands and more specifically in courses of international relation.

✓ First, after high school I would really like to study abroad in the Netherlands, more specifically in international relations courses.

Use 'First' rather than '1st' in spoken answers. Use 'study abroad in the Netherlands' and include 'the'. 'International relations' is the correct term (plural), and 'courses of international relation' should be 'international relations courses' or 'courses in international relations'.