Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear, direct topic sentence (you did this well). Add one supporting detail about your studies (e.g., your main subjects or whether you study full-time) using a linking word to make the answer slightly richer while keeping it concise. Avoid filler sounds like "uh."

例: I am currently a full-time 12th-grade student, and I am focusing mainly on commerce subjects such as accountancy and economics.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then one or two specific supporting details. Remove hesitations and use linking words (for example, "because" or "since") to explain why you changed curricula and name the school more smoothly. Keep to under five sentences.

例: I study at Government Girls High Secondary Rajbagh. I recently switched from the CBSE curriculum to the local government curriculum because my family moved, and I wanted continuity with the local education system.

提案: Give a balanced, structured response: start with a clear opinion, then add two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "however," "but," "because"). Avoid vague phrases like "and all" and reduce repetition. End with a short consequence or personal action (you already did this by mentioning tuition).

例: I don't think it's an ideal place to study because the facilities are poorly maintained and the hygiene standards are low. However, it is better than other nearby government schools, so I supplement my learning by attending private tuition classes.

提案: Provide a focused topic sentence and then list two or three specific changes, using linking words (e.g., "for example," "such as") and concise wording. Avoid repetition and filler; be precise about what should be improved and why.

例: Yes. For example, I would like the school to improve hygiene by cleaning classrooms and washrooms regularly, replace broken benches, and enforce better discipline so lessons can run smoothly.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence about your plan, then add one or two specific reasons and a linking phrase (e.g., "because" or "so"). Avoid repeating the same point. Mention the course or university clearly and keep within five sentences.

例: After my 12th board exams, I plan to move to Australia to study finance because I have been interested in finance from an early age. I hope to enroll in the University of Glasgow's (UOG) finance program to gain an international degree and practical skills.

× I uh study in a government school as I recently changed from the CBSE to the government curriculum so I study in government Girls high secondary Rajbagh.

✓ I study at a government school because I recently switched from the CBSE curriculum to the government curriculum, so I study at Government Girls High Secondary Rajbagh.

The sentence has structure and preposition issues: use 'study at' for schools, use 'because' rather than 'as' for clarity, 'changed from the CBSE to the government curriculum' is better as 'switched from the CBSE curriculum to the government curriculum'. Capitalize the school name and include commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: break long run-on sentences into clearer clauses and use correct prepositions for institutions. Grammar problem type ID:26

× It's not a good place to study because uh, you cannot expect much from a government school.

✓ It's not a good place to study because you cannot expect much from a government school.

Remove filler 'uh' in formal speech. The sentence structure and verb forms are correct; this correction is for fluency and formality rather than grammar. Use concise expressions in exam responses. Grammar problem type ID:2

× It's very unhygienic and all, but the school I study it in, it's still better from the other government schools in my locality.

✓ It's very unhygienic, but the school I study in is still better than the other government schools in my locality.

Errors: unnecessary pronoun 'it' after 'study', incorrect comparison 'better from' should be 'better than'. Remove filler 'and all'. Also combine clauses more smoothly. Suggestion: use 'better than' for comparisons and avoid redundant pronouns. Grammar problem type ID:26

× So I prefer going to tuition rather than going to school.

✓ So I prefer going to tuition to going to school.

Repeating 'going' is stylistically awkward. Use 'prefer X to Y' structure. Alternatively, 'I prefer attending tuition rather than school.' Suggestion: use 'prefer X to Y' or change one verb form to avoid repetition. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, indeed. I would like the players, the school I'm studying in currently to make many changes like, uh, maintain a proper hygiene, proper discipline, proper classroom and benches.

✓ Yes, indeed. I would like the school I'm studying in currently to make many changes, such as maintaining proper hygiene, proper discipline, and adequate classrooms and benches.

'Players' is incorrect and likely a mistaken word; it should be removed. Use 'such as' to introduce examples. 'Maintain a proper hygiene' is incorrect; use 'maintaining proper hygiene'. 'Proper classroom and benches' should be plural or described as 'adequate classrooms and benches'. Suggestion: pick correct nouns and use gerunds after verbs of request like 'would like... to make' or restructure with 'such as' and gerunds. Grammar problem type ID:12

× Because the benches and all, they're not that tidy.

✓ Because the benches and so on are not that tidy.

Avoid splitting the clause with a comma and pronoun 'they're' unnecessarily; 'and all' is informal—use 'and so on' or simply 'the benches are not tidy'. Maintain subject-verb continuity and reduce fillers. Grammar problem type ID:22

× They're very unhygienic.

✓ They are very unhygienic.

Contraction is acceptable, but in formal spoken responses it's better to avoid contractions; expand 'They're' to 'They are'. No grammatical error but style improvement. Also clarify referent (benches/washrooms) if needed. Grammar problem type ID:26

× The washrooms are unhygienic.

✓ The washrooms are unhygienic.

Sentence is grammatically correct; present tense correctly describes a current condition. No change needed—keep as is. Suggestion: provide specific examples to support the claim. Grammar problem type ID:6

× So I, I'm not liking the school, so I do want them to make changes.

✓ So I don't like the school, and I want them to make changes.

English prefers 'I don't like' rather than 'I'm not liking' for state verbs like 'like'. Remove duplicated 'so' and the unnecessary 'do' auxiliary. Use 'and' to connect the ideas. Suggestion: use simple present for states and avoid unnecessary emphasis auxiliaries. Grammar problem type ID:26

× My future study plans are moving to Australia after my 12th board exams are over as I want to go into finance as I find finance very interesting since the beginning.

✓ My future study plan is to move to Australia after my 12th board exams because I want to study finance; I have found finance interesting since the beginning.

Problems: 'plans are moving' should be 'plan is to move' or 'I am planning to move'. Use 'because' for reason, and avoid repeating 'as'. Use 'study finance' rather than 'go into finance' for clarity. 'Since the beginning' should be 'for a long time' or 'for as long as I can remember'—here 'I have found finance interesting since the beginning' uses present perfect to link past interest to present. Suggestion: use infinitive 'to move' for future intention and present perfect for ongoing states. Grammar problem type ID:26

× So I'm planning of moving to Australia after my 12th board exams are over because I want to go into finance and study for my UOG degree there.

✓ So I'm planning to move to Australia after my 12th board exams because I want to study finance and pursue my UOG degree there.

Use 'planning to move' not 'planning of moving'. 'Study for my UOG degree' can be 'pursue my UOG degree' or 'study for a UOG degree'; 'pursue' is more natural. Remove redundant 'are over' after 'exams' if desired. Suggestion: use correct verb patterns: 'plan to do something' and choose appropriate verbs like 'pursue' for degrees. Grammar problem type ID:11