Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and concise: state your current situation in one direct sentence (worker or student), then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use correct grammar for roles and study intent.

例: I currently work as a flight attendant, but I am also studying business at an international school in Cambodia. I started the course to prepare for further university studies in business.

提案: Answer directly with the school name and location, then add one specific detail about the location or campus. Avoid hesitations and irrelevant fragments.

例: I study at an international school in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The campus is near the Russian Market, so it is convenient for shopping and public transport.

提案: Start with a clear opinion and provide one reason or example to support it. Avoid mixing unrelated ideas (scholarships and countries) in one sentence. Be specific about what makes the place good.

例: Yes, it is a good place to study because the teachers are experienced and classes are small, which helps students get individual attention. As a result, some outstanding students can apply for scholarships to study abroad.

提案: Respond directly to whether you'd like changes, give one or two specific changes, and explain briefly why. Avoid unrelated personal details and reduce hesitations.

例: I would improve the financial support for students because many of us work and struggle to pay fees. For example, the school could offer more scholarships or flexible payment plans to help working students.

提案: Give a structured answer: state your main plan, then add one or two concrete details (subject, university, timeline). Use correct grammar for intentions and avoid vague phrases like "be a smart student."

例: After finishing this school, I plan to study at Western Sydney University in Australia to major in international business. I also want to learn an additional language, such as Mandarin, to improve my career prospects.

× By the way, I am just a worker like a like a flight attendant, but right now I am a business, but when I want to study some more business in a common International School, so I'm just decrease it into a student in Cam at International School.

✓ By the way, I am a worker, like a flight attendant, but right now I work in business. When I want to study more business at an international school, I become a student at an international school in Cambodia.

The original sentence has run-on structure, redundant words, and unclear phrases (e.g., 'decrease it into a student', 'a business'). This is a sentence structure error. Suggestions: break the sentence into shorter clauses, remove repeated words, replace vague phrases with clear ones ('work in business', 'become a student'), and use correct prepositions ('at an international school', 'in Cambodia').

× Actually I am studying at International School in Cambodia, Phnom Penh. It it it near to the uncle what?

✓ Actually I am studying at an international school in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. It is near my uncle's place.

Issues include article omission ('an international school') and incorrect/awkward preposition and phrase 'near to the uncle what?'. Use 'in Phnom Penh, Cambodia' for city and country order and 'near my uncle's place' to show possession and correct preposition 'near' without 'to'. Also remove repeated filler words and correct 'It is'. This fits preposition and article corrections as well as sentence structure improvements.

× Yes, definitely it really good place to study, but if you are so smart you can have a a scholarship to go to American United Kingdom by the way.

✓ Yes, definitely. It is a really good place to study, and if you are very smart you can get a scholarship to go to the United States or the United Kingdom.

Missing verb 'is' and incorrect adjective/adverb placement ('really good place' needed 'a' and verb). Also 'so smart' is informal; 'very smart' is clearer. 'American United Kingdom' is incorrect country naming; choose one: 'the United States' or 'the United Kingdom'. This addresses adjective/adverb use, article and sentence structure.

× Of course I really like but it really bad for me because I'm just a worker of a business.

✓ Of course I really like it, but it is really bad for me because I am just a worker in a business.

Original lacks object for 'like' and misses verb 'is' after 'it'. 'Worker of a business' is awkward; use 'worker in a business' or 'an employee'. Fix sentence structure by adding missing words and using correct preposition.

× But right now I'm just accidentally umm study at camp at International School.

✓ But right now I am accidentally studying at the international school campus.

Missing verb form: 'study' should be 'studying' (present participle) and 'camp' likely intended 'campus'. The sentence is ungrammatical and needs restructuring: use 'I am accidentally studying' and correct noun 'campus'. This involves verb form and sentence structure fixes.

× But that's not make me too sad just the money is make me more than sad.

✓ But that does not make me too sad; it is mainly the money that makes me very sad.

Incorrect verb forms: 'does not make' is required instead of 'not make'. Also 'the money is make me' should be 'the money makes me'. Correct tense and subject-verb agreement needed; reorganize sentence for clarity and natural emphasis.

× My future study plan is just done with this school and go to the university and Start learning some new language and I'm gonna study abroad in Australia, Sydney, Western Sydney University and I just want to be a smart student in school.

✓ My future study plan is to finish this school, go to university, and start learning a new language. I plan to study abroad in Sydney, Australia, at Western Sydney University, and I want to be a good student.

Original mixes infinitives and verbs incorrectly ('is just done with this school and go'), inconsistent capitalization, and informal 'gonna'. Fix by using infinitive 'to finish', parallel structure for the list of plans, correct place name order 'Sydney, Australia', and replace informal language with 'plan to' and 'want to be a good student'. This corrects sentence structure, tense consistency, and improves formality.