Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence then add a brief relevant detail. Correct capitalization and article use (e.g., 'materials science and engineering') and avoid repeating 'I am a student' information unnecessarily.

例: I'm a student studying Materials Science and Engineering at university. I chose this course because I'm interested in developing new materials for electronics.

提案: Answer directly then add one or two specific details linked smoothly. Avoid repetition and fix sentence structure (e.g., 'I study in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province'). Use a linking word to connect the comment about the city's appearance.

例: I study in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province. It's a beautiful city and also a technology hub, which makes it inspiring for engineering students like me.

提案: Good direct answer with specific reasons. Improve coherence by using a linking phrase and vary vocabulary slightly. Combine sentences to avoid short choppiness.

例: Yes, it's a great place to study because it has many parks and relatively good air quality, and furthermore, public transport is convenient, so commuting is easy.

提案: Be specific and accurate: state the change clearly, give reasons and an example of the problem. Correct vocabulary ('hot house' is unclear) and grammar (use 'could' or 'would' and proper verb forms). Use a linking word to explain consequences.

例: Yes, I would like the roads to be repaired because many pavements are broken and poorly lit, which makes walking at night quite dangerous.

提案: Give a clear plan and some specific reasons or steps. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeat information. Use correct verb forms ('I hope to' or 'I would like to').

例: I hope to study abroad in the UK or Canada to do a master's in Materials Science and Engineering, because those countries have strong research programs and good industry connections.

× I am a student. I'm currently studying at Material Science and engineering.

✓ I am a student. I'm currently studying Material Science and Engineering.

The definite/zero article is not needed before the name of a field of study; capitalize both words in the discipline name. Use 'studying Material Science and Engineering' rather than 'studying at Material Science and engineering.' Use consistent capitalization for proper nouns and academic fields. Suggestion: say 'studying Material Science and Engineering'.

× I study at Guangdong Province in I study in Guangdong province at Shenzhen city.

✓ I study in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province.

The original sentence has redundant and misplaced prepositions and repeats information. Use 'in' for locations: 'in Shenzhen City' and 'Guangdong Province' as a larger region. Capitalize proper nouns. Suggestion: consolidate location into one clear phrase: 'I study in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province.'

× Is it a good place to study?

✓ Is it a good place to study?

This sentence is correct. No article correction needed. (Included to show no change.)

× Of course, Shenzhen City has many parks and good air quality. The public transport is convenient there.

✓ Of course, Shenzhen City has many parks and good air quality. The public transport is convenient there.

Sentences are grammatically correct. 'Has' agrees with 'Shenzhen City' and 'is' agrees with 'public transport.' No change required.

× Of course I wish the road can be fixed because it has many hot house and I feel so dangerous.

✓ Of course, I wish the road could be fixed because there are many potholes and I feel very unsafe.

Use 'could' or 'would' with 'wish' to talk about a desired situation; 'can' is incorrect here. 'Hot house' is likely a wrong word—'potholes' fits context. 'Feel so dangerous' is incorrect; use 'feel very unsafe.' Also add comma after 'Of course.' Suggestion: 'I wish the road could be fixed because there are many potholes and I feel very unsafe.'

× I wish I can study abroad, especially in the UK or Canada.

✓ I wish I could study abroad, especially in the UK or Canada.

When using 'wish' to talk about an unreal or unlikely situation in the present or future, use 'could' not 'can.' 'Can' implies ability now; 'could' expresses desire/hypothetical. Suggestion: 'I wish I could study abroad.'

× Uh, I wish I can study material science and engineering again.

✓ I wish I could study Material Science and Engineering again.

Combine fixes: 'could' with 'wish' (see above) and capitalize the field name. Also remove 'Uh' in formal answers. Suggestion: 'I wish I could study Material Science and Engineering again.'