Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is direct and well developed, with relevant examples such as school clubs and summer camp. However, “whether they were music, sports or even just dancing” should be changed to “whether they involved music, sports or dancing,” and “attended every summer a summer camp” should be “attended a summer camp every summer.” The phrase “crafts, fire” is incomplete; specify activities such as arts and crafts or campfire activities. Avoid repeating “a lot of” by using more precise vocabulary such as “many” or “various.”

例: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child because my parents encouraged me to join school clubs. I took part in music, sports and dancing, and I also attended a summer camp every year. There, I made new friends and enjoyed activities such as arts and crafts, hiking and sitting around a campfire.

提案: You express a clear opinion and give relevant benefits, but the grammar needs improvement. Use “People should always try” instead of “People must always will try,” and use “trying new things adds” because the subject is singular. “Adds experience to our personality” is unnatural; say “helps us gain experience and develop as people.” Also, avoid repeating “new things” and “a lot”; use a specific example to make the answer more convincing.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them gain experience and become more confident. For example, someone who joins a sports team may improve both their communication skills and their ability to work with others. Although people should not force themselves to do things they dislike, trying something unfamiliar can help them discover new interests.

× In addition to that, I attended every summer a summer camp where I made a lot of friends and enjoyed a lot of activities like crafts, fire.

✓ In addition to that, I attended a summer camp every summer, where I made a lot of friends and enjoyed many activities, such as crafts and making fires.

The adverbial phrase every summer is placed awkwardly between the verb attended and its object a summer camp. Place it at the end of the sentence or before the verb. The activity list also needs parallel forms: crafts is a noun, so making fires uses a corresponding activity form.

× People must always will try new things and learn new things.

✓ People should always try new things and learn new things.

A modal verb such as must or should cannot be followed by another modal verb such as will. Use one modal verb followed by the base form of the verb. Should is suitable here because the sentence gives advice in response to the question.

× In addition to that, trying new things add a lot of experience to our personality and to our life.

✓ In addition to that, trying new things adds a lot of experience to our personality and to our life.

The subject trying new things is a gerund phrase, and gerund phrases are singular. Therefore, the verb must be adds, not add. Remember to use the singular verb form when an -ing phrase functions as the subject of a sentence.