Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid contradictory ideas. Use the correct phrase “an opportunity to work as a child actor” rather than “opportunities at as a child actor.” Also, “opportunity” is countable, so say “this opportunity” or “these opportunities,” not “that opportunities.” Explain briefly what you did and why it was memorable. Avoid fillers such as “uh” and unclear phrases like “when I was out.”

例: Yes, I had the opportunity to work as a child actor in a movie. I was only about ten years old, and I played a small supporting role. It was a memorable experience because I learned how a film set worked and met many interesting people.

提案: State your opinion clearly and use the correct structure “try as many different things as they can,” not “try as many as different things.” The sentence “because they in the competitive world” is grammatically incomplete; say “because we live in a competitive world.” Develop your reason logically by explaining that trying different activities helps people discover their strengths and develop useful skills. Avoid repetition such as “we have to” and “to be able to work.”

例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as they can, especially when they are young. We live in a competitive world, so having a variety of skills can create more opportunities. In addition, trying new activities helps people discover their interests and strengths.

× Yes, I did have, uh, opportunities at as a child actor in the movie.

✓ Yes, I had opportunities to work as a child actor in a movie.

The original sentence has an incomplete and incorrectly arranged structure. Use opportunities to work as a child actor to express the activity clearly.

× opportunities at as a child actor

✓ opportunities to work as a child actor

Use to work as to describe an opportunity involving a job or activity. The preposition at is not appropriate in this structure.

× in the movie

✓ in a movie

Use the indefinite article a when mentioning a movie for the first time and when you are not referring to a specific previously identified movie.

× I got that opportunities when I was a child.

✓ I got those opportunities when I was a child.

The plural noun opportunities requires the plural demonstrative those, not the singular demonstrative that.

× people should try as many as different things as they can

✓ people should try as many different things as they can

The correct correlative structure is as many different things as they can. Do not place as between many and the adjective different.

× because they in the competitive world

✓ because, in the competitive world, people need to develop different skills

The original clause has no main verb after the subject they. Add a complete verb phrase, such as people need to develop different skills, to form a complete clause.

× we have to, uh, we have to have all to work to be able to work in different things

✓ we have to be able to work in different fields

Have to should be followed by the base form of a verb, and the intended meaning is the ability to work in different fields. The phrase have all to work is not a correct modal construction.

× to be able to work in different things

✓ to be able to work in different fields

Work in is normally followed by a field, industry, or profession, not by the general noun things. Use work on different things when referring to tasks or projects.