Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the past tense and avoid repeating the same idea. Use “many activities” rather than “much activities,” and say “I didn’t participate” instead of “I don’t participate.” The phrase “like right now” is unclear, and “I don’t really have order” is not appropriate in this context. Organize the answer with a clear reason and one specific example, using a linking word such as “because” or “although.”

例: Not really. I was quite introverted as a child, so I didn’t take part in many activities outside school. However, I occasionally joined sports events at school, which helped me become more comfortable around other children.

提案: Give your opinion more naturally by saying “Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities.” Avoid the repeated and incorrect structure “participate and involve themselves as to participate.” Support your opinion with one or two specific benefits, and use a more natural phrase such as “feel more confident when interacting with others.” A concise answer with a clear opinion, reason, and example would be more effective.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, provided they have enough time. Trying new things can broaden their experience and help them discover their interests. For example, joining a sports club or taking a language course can make people more confident when interacting with others.

× To be honest, I think I didn't really have that much activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person, therefore I don't really participate in many activities like right now.

✓ To be honest, I think I didn't really have that many activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person; therefore, I didn't really participate in many activities as I do now.

Activities is a countable plural noun, so many should be used instead of much. Much is used with uncountable nouns, such as time or experience. Use many with plural countable nouns, such as activities, opportunities, and experiences.

× To be honest, I think I didn't really have that much activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person, therefore I don't really participate in many activities like right now.

✓ To be honest, I think I didn't really have that many activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person; therefore, I didn't really participate in many activities as I do now.

The student is describing habits during childhood, so the past tense is needed. Change don't participate to didn't participate. The phrase as I do now correctly contrasts the past with the present.

× To be honest, I think I didn't really have that much activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person, therefore I don't really participate in many activities like right now.

✓ To be honest, I think I didn't really have that many activities when I was a child because I was a really introverted person; therefore, I didn't really participate in many activities as I do now.

Therefore joins two complete clauses, so it should not be connected with only a comma. Use a semicolon before therefore and a comma after it, or start a new sentence with Therefore. Also, as I do now is the natural structure for comparing present and past participation.

× So that's why I don't really have order.

✓ So that's why I didn't really have a routine.

The answer is discussing the student's childhood, so the past tense didn't is more appropriate than the present tense don't. Routine is also a more natural noun than order when describing a regular pattern of activities.

× That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate and involve themselves as to participate in many things as they can, because it will give them new experiences, for example, it will boost their confidence in interacting with other people.

✓ That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate in and involve themselves in as many activities as they can because doing so will give them new experiences. For example, this will boost their confidence when interacting with other people.

The original sentence contains an incomplete and incorrectly arranged structure: as to participate in. The verbs participate and involve should be followed by in, and the repeated phrase to participate should be removed. The long sentence should also be divided before For example to make the ideas clearer.

× That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate and involve themselves as to participate in many things as they can, because it will give them new experiences, for example, it will boost their confidence in interacting with other people.

✓ That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate in and involve themselves in as many activities as they can because doing so will give them new experiences. For example, this will boost their confidence when interacting with other people.

Participate requires the preposition in, as in participate in activities. Involve oneself is also followed by in when referring to an activity: involve themselves in activities. Do not use as to participate in this structure.

× That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate and involve themselves as to participate in many things as they can, because it will give them new experiences, for example, it will boost their confidence in interacting with other people.

✓ That's an interesting question. Personally, I think that people should participate in and involve themselves in as many activities as they can because doing so will give them new experiences. For example, this will boost their confidence when interacting with other people.

The correct comparison pattern is as many plural countable nouns as possible or as they can. Therefore, use as many activities as they can, not many things as they can. This pattern shows the largest number of activities within the person's ability.