Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 직접적으로 대답한 점은 좋지만, 시제와 표현을 정확하게 고쳐야 합니다. ‘in my childhood’보다는 ‘when I was a child’를 사용하고, 과거의 일이므로 ‘send’는 ‘sent’로 바꾸세요. ‘my parents sent me basketball’은 부자연스러우므로 ‘my parents encouraged me to play basketball’이라고 표현하는 것이 좋습니다. 또한 ‘in the first time’ 대신 ‘for the first time’을 사용하고, 같은 의미의 ‘so’를 반복하지 않도록 연결어를 다양하게 사용하세요. 농구를 하면서 키가 자랐는지, 어떤 경험이었는지와 같은 구체적인 결과를 한 문장 추가하면 답변이 더 효과적입니다.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, my parents encouraged me to play basketball because I was quite short. They hoped it would help me grow taller, and I really enjoyed learning the sport for the first time. It also helped me become more active and confident.

提案: 의견을 제시하려고 한 점은 좋지만, 첫 문장에서 주장을 명확하게 제시해야 합니다. ‘Guess I think’와 ‘have have needed experience’는 불필요하거나 문법적으로 부정확하므로 ‘I think people should try different things’처럼 간단히 시작하세요. ‘self esteem and. Confident’는 ‘self-esteem and confidence’로 고치고, ‘try something else’보다는 문맥에 맞는 ‘try new activities’를 사용하는 것이 자연스럽습니다. ‘because’와 ‘so’를 함께 사용하기보다 ‘This is because’ 또는 ‘As a result’로 문장을 연결하세요. 새로운 활동이 사람들에게 주는 구체적인 이점이나 예시를 추가하면 내용과 어휘 점수를 높일 수 있습니다.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities whenever possible. This is because new experiences can build self-esteem and confidence. For example, joining a sports club or learning a musical instrument can help people discover their interests and develop useful skills.

× I have experience learning basketball in my childhood.

✓ I learned to play basketball during my childhood.

Because the speaker is describing a completed experience in childhood, the past tense learned should be used instead of the present perfect form have experience. The phrase learned to play basketball is also the natural verb pattern.

× I was short so my parents send me basketball to get taller, so I learned basketball in the first time.

✓ I was short, so my parents sent me to play basketball to help me grow taller, and I learned to play basketball.

The verb send must be changed to its past-tense form sent because the event happened in the past. When describing a past action, keep all related verbs consistently in the past tense.

× I learned basketball in the first time.

✓ I learned to play basketball for the first time.

The correct prepositional expression is for the first time, not in the first time. Use for the first time when referring to the first occurrence of an experience.

× Guess I think many people have have needed experience to try something else because it can improve self esteem and. Confident, so I think it's good for them.

✓ I guess many people need to try different activities because doing so can improve their self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, I think it is good for them.

The original sentence contains a repeated verb, an incomplete phrase, and an incorrect break after and. Organize the ideas into complete sentences with a clear subject and verb. Avoid repeating have and use a linking expression such as therefore to connect the conclusion.

× it can improve self esteem and. Confident

✓ it can improve their self-esteem and confidence

Confident is an adjective, but it must be replaced by the noun confidence because it is parallel with the noun self-esteem. Use nouns in the structure improve their self-esteem and confidence.