Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答抓住了“学钢琴”这一具体经历，但存在明显的时态、语法和表达问题。应将“when I was a child, I have music class”改为过去时，例如“when I was a child, I had music lessons”；“taught me the piano skills”更自然的说法是“taught me how to play the piano”；“and very proud”缺少主语和系动词，应改为“which made me feel very proud”。建议使用清晰的结构：先直接回答“Yes”，再说明活动、人物和感受，并用“because”或“as a result”连接细节。

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I had music lessons at school, and my teacher encouraged me to try playing the piano. I really enjoyed learning simple songs, and I felt proud whenever I managed to play them correctly.

提案: 观点明确，也提供了个人例子，但有些表达不自然且逻辑可以更清楚。“people have not enough energy”应改为“people don’t have enough time or energy”；“try many different things as they can”应改为“try as many different things as they can”；“playing piano”前应加冠词，使用“playing the piano”。此外，例子中的“until now”不够准确，可以说“and I have continued playing it ever since”。建议先说明“适度尝试有好处，但不必尝试所有事情”，再解释原因并给出个人经历。

例: I don’t think people need to try as many things as possible. Although exploring new activities can help people discover their interests, they may not have enough time or energy to do everything. For example, I started playing the piano as a child and decided to focus on it, so I have continued learning it ever since.

× Of course, I remember clearly that when I was a child, I have music class.

✓ Of course, I remember clearly that when I was a child, I had a music class.

“When I was a child”表示过去的时间，所以后面的动词应使用过去时。应将“have”改为“had”。

× Of course, I remember clearly that when I was a child, I have music class.

✓ Of course, I remember clearly that when I was a child, I had a music class.

“class”是可数名词单数，前面需要冠词。这里可以使用不定冠词“a”，表示“一节音乐课”。

× At that time my teacher taught me the piano skills and led me to try to play the piano in the class and very proud.

✓ At that time, my teacher taught me piano skills and led me to try to play the piano in class, and I was very proud.

“very proud”前面缺少主语和系动词。应补充“I was”，构成完整句子。

× I don't think so, I suppose that people have not enough energy to try many different things as they can.

✓ I don't think so. I suppose that people do not have enough energy to try as many different things as they can.

“as many ... as they can”表示“尽可能多的……”。“many”应放在第一个“as”之后，构成正确的数量比较结构。

× I don't think so, I suppose that people have not enough energy to try many different things as they can.

✓ I don't think so. I suppose that people do not have enough energy to try as many different things as they can.

原句用逗号连接两个完整句子，结构不正确。应在“I don't think so”后使用句号。另外，“do not have enough energy”是更自然、标准的否定结构。

× For example, when I was a child, I tried playing piano so I focused on playing piano until now.

✓ For example, when I was a child, I tried playing the piano, so I focused on playing the piano until now.

“piano”表示演奏乐器时，通常要在前面加定冠词“the”，所以应说“play the piano”和“playing the piano”。

× For example, when I was a child, I tried playing piano so I focused on playing piano until now.

✓ For example, when I was a child, I tried playing the piano, and I have focused on playing the piano ever since.

“Until now”表示从过去一直持续到现在，应该使用现在完成时“have focused”。“Ever since”也能更清楚地表示“从那以后一直到现在”。