Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, then give one well-developed example. Improve grammar and natural phrasing: say “at a very young age,” “on my first try,” and “it was a really exciting activity.” Avoid repeating “first,” “as a child,” and “to take part.” The answer is unfinished, so complete the idea in no more than four or five sentences. Use a linking word such as “Although” or “After that” to connect the details.

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my parents took me jet skiing at a very young age. Although I was quite afraid on my first try, I soon became more confident and found it really exciting. It was an experience that encouraged me to try other outdoor activities.

提案: State your opinion naturally and support it with one specific reason or example. Correct the grammar: use “Everyone should,” “life is always moving forward,” and “you may not get another chance.” Avoid addressing the examiner directly as “you guys”; use “people” or “we” instead. Make the conclusion more precise and use a linking phrase such as “For this reason” to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of things whenever they have the opportunity. New experiences can help us discover our interests and become more confident. For example, someone who tries volunteering might discover a passion for helping others. For this reason, it is better to take reasonable opportunities rather than regret missing them later.

× I would say yes, I have taken part in a lot of new opportunities like jet skiing ... as a child.

✓ I would say yes. I took part in a lot of new activities, such as jet skiing, when I was a child.

The question asks about experiences during your childhood, so the simple past tense took is more appropriate than the present perfect have taken. Also, activities is the more natural noun after took part in.

× ...jet skiing in very young age...

✓ ...jet skiing at a very young age...

Use at, not in, when referring to a specific age or stage of life. The fixed expression is at a very young age.

× ...in very young age...

✓ ...at a very young age...

The singular countable noun age needs the indefinite article a in this expression: at a very young age.

× I was really afraid to 1st in first try.

✓ I was really afraid at first and on my first try.

At first means initially, while on my first try refers to the first time you attempted the activity. The prepositions in and to are incorrect in the original expression.

× I think that's a really exciting and cool activities.

✓ I think it was a really exciting and cool activity.

The article a must be followed by a singular noun, so activities must change to activity. Because you are describing a childhood experience, was is also more suitable than is.

× I think that's a really exciting and cool activities.

✓ I think it was a really exciting and cool activity.

The activity happened in the past, so use the past-tense verb was rather than the present-tense verb is, which appears in the contraction that's.

× ...a really exciting and cool activity to take part...

✓ ...a really exciting and cool activity to take part in.

The phrasal verb is take part in. The preposition in is required when you identify the activity someone participates in.

× ...and then I also.

✓ I also took part in other activities.

The original phrase is incomplete because it does not contain a main verb or a complete idea. Add a verb such as took part in to form a complete sentence.

× Every people should try new things...

✓ Everyone should try new things...

Everyone is a singular pronoun used to refer to all people. People cannot follow every in this structure; alternatively, you could say All people should try new things.

× ...because life's always goes on...

✓ ...because life always goes on...

Life is a singular third-person subject, so goes is correct. However, life's means life is, and using it before goes creates an incorrect double-verb structure. Remove is and use life always goes.

× ...you never had another chance to enjoy your past opportunities.

✓ ...you may never have another chance to enjoy those past opportunities.

This is a general statement about possible future situations, so the past-tense verb had is not appropriate. Use may never have to express that another opportunity might not occur.