Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is well organized and directly answers the question with specific examples. However, use the past tense consistently: “we often spent time,” not “we often spend time.” Also, “I used to like shoot videos” is grammatically incorrect; say “I used to like shooting videos” or “I used to shoot videos.” Avoid repetition between “photography” and “videography,” and combine the final ideas more naturally.

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child, especially swimming and photography. Since I grew up in a coastal town in Turkey, I often spent time at the beach and learned to swim with my friends and family. I also enjoyed taking photos and making short videos of the sea, my relatives, and local life.

提案: You give a clear opinion and a relevant reason, but some expressions are unnatural or repetitive. Replace “we have like limited time for life” with “we have limited time” or “life is short,” and replace “do many activities as much as we can” with “try as many activities as possible.” Avoid fillers such as “like,” and add one specific result or example to develop your answer more effectively.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because life is short and we have limited time to explore our interests. For example, learning a new skill or taking up a sport can help people discover their strengths and meet new friends. As a result, they may lead a more fulfilling and balanced life.

× I grew up in a coastal town in Turkey, so we often spend time at the beach and I learned to swim with friends and family.

✓ I grew up in a coastal town in Turkey, so we often spent time at the beach and I learned to swim with friends and family.

The answer describes childhood experiences in the past. Therefore, spend should be changed to its past-tense form, spent, to match grew up and learned.

× I used to like shoot videos of everyone, my family and my friends.

✓ I used to like shooting videos of everyone, including my family and friends.

The verb like is followed by a gerund when describing an activity: like + verb-ing. Therefore, shoot should be changed to shooting. Including makes the list of people clearer.

× So I think it's really important to do many activities as much as we can and live a fulfilled life.

✓ So I think it's really important to do many activities in life and live a fulfilled life.

The phrase time in life is the natural expression when referring generally to the time available during one's life. The preposition for is not appropriate in this context.

× So I think it's really important to do many activities as much as we can and live a fulfilled life.

✓ So I think it's really important to do as many activities as we can and live a fulfilled life.

Activities is a countable plural noun, so many should be used rather than much. The correct comparison structure is as many activities as we can.