Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly using the past tense because you are talking about childhood. Correct the phrases “participate art clubs” to “participate in art clubs” and “after them after them school” to “after-school activities.” Avoid repeating words and finish your final idea clearly. Organize the answer with a topic sentence followed by specific examples and their benefits.

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I joined an art club and a language-learning club at school, and I also took part in some after-school activities. These experiences helped me discover my interests and become more confident.

提案: State your opinion clearly at the beginning and avoid the repeated phrase “try to new try.” Use natural expressions such as “try new activities” and “broaden their knowledge.” Explain your reason with a complete grammatical sentence: trying different things can give people new perspectives and help them form opinions on various topics. Use a linking word such as “Moreover” to connect the supporting idea.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, as long as they have enough time and genuinely enjoy them. Trying new things can broaden their knowledge and expose them to different perspectives. Moreover, these experiences can help them develop their interests and form more informed opinions about the world.

× I have a lot of opportunities ... when I was starting at school, I had a chance ...

✓ I had a lot of opportunities ... when I started school, I had a chance ...

The speaker is describing childhood experiences, so the past tense is required. Use had instead of have. Started school is also the more natural past-tense expression for beginning school.

× I had a chance to participate art clubs.

✓ I had a chance to participate in art clubs.

The verb participate is followed by the preposition in when referring to an activity, organization, or group. The correct pattern is participate in something.

× a language learning clubs

✓ language-learning clubs

The plural noun clubs cannot be used with the singular article a. Remove a before the plural noun. Language-learning is written with a hyphen when it functions as a compound adjective before clubs.

× a language learning clubs

✓ language-learning clubs

The indefinite article a is used only with a singular countable noun. Because clubs is plural, no article is needed here.

× Yes, I have a lot of opportunities, uh, to take part in new activities, especially when I was starting at school, I had a chance to participate art clubs, a language learning clubs and after them after them school.

✓ Yes, I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities, especially when I started school. I had a chance to participate in art clubs, language-learning clubs, and after-school clubs.

The original answer combines several independent ideas with commas and includes repeated or incomplete wording. Divide the ideas into separate sentences and use a clear parallel list: art clubs, language-learning clubs, and after-school clubs.

× They should try to new try the new activities because those activities will help them to broaden up their knowledge.

✓ They should try new activities because those activities will help them broaden their knowledge.

After should, use the base form of the verb: should try. The sequence try to new try is incorrectly formed. Also, broaden already means make wider, so broaden up is unnecessary; use broaden their knowledge.

× They will have new perspectives and how to have a opinion regarding several topics in the world.

✓ They will gain new perspectives and learn how to form an opinion about various topics in the world.

Use an instead of a before opinion because opinion begins with a vowel sound. The phrase form an opinion is also the natural expression in English.

× They will have new perspectives and how to have a opinion regarding several topics in the world.

✓ They will gain new perspectives and learn how to form an opinion about various topics in the world.

The original sentence incorrectly joins a noun phrase, new perspectives, with a how-to clause. Use two parallel verb phrases, gain new perspectives and learn how to form an opinion, to make the sentence structurally clear.