Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the past tense and describe one specific activity. Use “took part” instead of “take part,” “at that time” instead of “in that time,” and say “I enjoyed myself” rather than “I love dancing” when referring to the past. Avoid unclear phrases such as “I usually do everything which makes me happy.” Add a specific detail about the dance activity and use a linking word such as “because” or “so.”

例: Yes, I took part in a dance class when I was a child. I really enjoyed it because I was quite active and loved performing in front of other people. For example, I learned simple routines and sometimes performed them at school events.

提案: Give a clear opinion in the first sentence, then support it with one or two logical reasons. Use “everyone has” instead of “everyone have,” and avoid repeating “different” and “everyone.” Explain that trying new activities can help people discover their interests, while acknowledging that some people may feel nervous. Use linking words such as “because,” “however,” and “for example” to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. However, they should not feel pressured to do everything, especially if they are nervous. For example, someone might try a sport, a musical instrument, or a creative hobby before deciding what they enjoy most.

× Yes, when I was a child, I take part in a dance.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I took part in dancing.

The phrase when I was a child refers to a completed period in the past, so the past-tense form took is required instead of the present-tense form take. After take part in, use a noun or an -ing form; dancing is more natural here than a dance.

× I love dancing and enjoying myself, but I'm very active in that time.

✓ I loved dancing and enjoyed myself, but I was very active at that time.

The student is describing childhood, so the verbs should be in the past tense: loved, enjoyed, and was. Use at that time, not in that time, when referring to a particular period.

× Yes, everyone have different thinking and different personality.

✓ Yes, everyone has different ways of thinking and a different personality.

Everyone is grammatically singular, so it must be followed by has, not have. The expressions ways of thinking and a different personality are also grammatically appropriate noun phrases.

× They think, they do everything, but sometimes they feel nervous everyone can do different things.

✓ They think and do different things, but sometimes they feel nervous. Everyone can do different things.

The original sentence joins several independent clauses without correct punctuation or conjunctions, creating a run-on sentence. Combine related ideas with and, and separate complete ideas with a full stop.