Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời có ý trả lời “Yes”, nhưng mắc nhiều lỗi dùng từ và ngữ pháp. “your activities” phải đổi thành “new activities”, còn “when I was mom” không đúng ngữ cảnh và có thể thay bằng “when I was young”. Cụm “taken part in many places” không tự nhiên; em nên nói rõ hoạt động cụ thể, chẳng hạn như tham gia câu lạc bộ thể thao hoặc các lớp nghệ thuật. Ngoài ra, câu trả lời đang lặp ý “take part/join in” và thiếu từ nối rõ ràng.

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. For example, I joined a swimming club and took art classes at school. I really enjoyed these activities because they helped me make new friends and discover my interests.

提案: Câu trả lời có quan điểm rõ ràng và đưa ra lý do hợp lý, đồng thời có sự đối lập với “but”. Tuy nhiên, “if possible” đặt trong câu này hơi thiếu tự nhiên; em có thể dùng “if they have the opportunity”. Cụm “balance the time between work and health” chưa chính xác vì không thể cân bằng thời gian giữa công việc và sức khỏe; nên nói “balance their work, personal life, and health” hoặc “make sure they have enough time to look after their health”. Em nên thêm một ví dụ cụ thể để phát triển câu trả lời và sử dụng cách diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn.

例: Yes, I believe people should try different things whenever they have the opportunity. Doing so can help them develop a wider range of skills and discover what they are good at. However, they should still manage their time carefully and make sure they have enough time for work, rest, and their health.

× Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in your activities as a child because when I was mom I had taken part in many places to join in different activities

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because, when I was young, I took part in different activities in many places.

Your refers to the examiner and does not match the question, which asks about new activities in general. Use new instead of your to express the intended meaning.

× Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in your activities as a child because when I was mom I had taken part in many places to join in different activities

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because, when I was young, I took part in different activities in many places.

Mom is a noun meaning mother, so it cannot describe your age or life stage in this sentence. Use the adjective young after was to describe your age.

× Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in your activities as a child because when I was mom I had taken part in many places to join in different activities

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because, when I was young, I took part in different activities in many places.

The answer describes completed activities during your childhood. The simple past took part is appropriate. The past perfect had taken part is unnecessary because there is no other past event that happened later or earlier in the sentence.

× Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in your activities as a child because when I was mom I had taken part in many places to join in different activities

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because, when I was young, I took part in different activities in many places.

We take part in activities, not in places. The place should be expressed after the activity phrase: took part in different activities in many places.

× Yes, I think if possible, people should try as many different things as they can because they will improve their skills in different fields, but they also need to balance the time between work and health.

✓ Yes, I think that, if possible, people should try as many different things as they can because they will improve their skills in different fields, but they also need to balance their time between work and their health.

The phrase balance the time is unnatural when referring to the time that people have available. Use balance their time. The preposition between is correct for comparing two areas, such as work and health.