Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a direct answer and divide the long sentence into shorter, clearer sentences. Use the natural phrase “a keen interest in painting” rather than “keen interest in paintings,” and say “I still do it” instead of “still now I continue doing that.” Also, “It helped me relax” is more natural than “It provided me relaxation.” Add one specific detail about when or why you enjoyed the activity.

例: Yes, my parents enrolled me in several activities when I was a child, including swimming and painting. I especially enjoyed painting because I had a keen interest in art. I still paint occasionally because it helps me relax and express my creativity.

提案: Your opinion is clear, but the answer would sound more natural with correct subject-verb agreement and more precise expressions. Change “it helps them to explore their area of interest” to “it helps them explore their interests,” and use “a hobby becomes a profession” rather than “our hobby become our profession.” Avoid repeating “profession” and “job”; instead, give a brief example or result to make the answer more specific.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover their interests and strengths. In some cases, a hobby can even become a career, which is ideal because people are more likely to enjoy work that they are passionate about. For example, someone who enjoys photography might eventually become a professional photographer.

× I had keen interest in paintings.

✓ I had a keen interest in paintings.

The singular countable noun interest requires the indefinite article a when it is mentioned for the first time. Use a keen interest, not keen interest.

× It provided me relaxation as well.

✓ It provided me with relaxation as well.

The verb provide normally follows the pattern provide someone with something. Therefore, relaxation must be introduced with the preposition with.

× It helps them to explore their area of interest which later become their profession as well.

✓ It helps them to explore their area of interest, which later becomes their profession as well.

The relative pronoun which refers to the singular noun area, so the verb must be singular: becomes, not become.

× If our hobby become our profession, then that's a good thing.

✓ If our hobby becomes our profession, then that's a good thing.

The subject hobby is singular and is in the third person. In the present tense, a singular third-person subject requires the -s form of the verb: becomes.