Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and complete your final sentence. Use natural expressions such as “I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me...” instead of “I have the fortune to have parents which...” Also, avoid repeating words like “sports sports,” use the past tense consistently (“practised”), and connect your examples with linking words such as “for example” and “as well as.”

例: Yes, I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to try different activities when I was a child. For example, I took swimming and tennis lessons, and I also practised karate. These activities helped me become more confident and taught me the importance of staying active.

提案: Give a slightly more natural direct answer and avoid repeating “try different things” and “try many things.” The phrase “as many different as they can” is incomplete; say “as many different things as they can.” Improve the structure by explaining the benefits in a logical order and using linking words such as “because,” “for instance,” and “eventually.”

例: Definitely. I think people should try as many different things as they can because it helps them discover their interests and strengths. For instance, they may learn a new skill, meet different people, or find a hobby they really enjoy. Eventually, these experiences can help them make better choices about what they want to do.

× I have the fortune to have parents which since I was a child, they want me to try different activities.

✓ I was fortunate to have parents who wanted me to try different activities.

Use who, not which, to refer to people. The pronoun they is also unnecessary because who already functions as the subject of the relative clause.

× Since I was a child, they want me to try different activities.

✓ Since I was a child, they wanted me to try different activities.

The question asks about childhood, so use the past tense wanted rather than the present tense want. Keep the main verb and the time reference consistent.

× I practice karate.

✓ I practiced karate.

The student is describing activities done during childhood, so the past-tense form practiced is required.

× Yes, I have the fortune to have parents which since I was a child, they want me to try different activities especially in sports sports. So I did swimming, I did tennis, I practice karate, I

✓ Yes, I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to try different activities, especially sports. I went swimming, played tennis, and practiced karate.

The original response contains an incomplete sentence, repeated words, and several loosely connected clauses. Use complete sentences and connect the list of activities with and. This also makes the answer clearer and more natural.

× People should try as many different as they can.

✓ People should try as many different things as they can.

The quantifier pattern as many ... as requires a plural countable noun after many. Add things to complete the expression.

× After try many things, we can choose what we want.

✓ After trying many things, we can choose what we want.

After is used here as a preposition introducing an activity, so the following verb should be in the -ing form: trying.

× People should try as many different as they can because that is the way that we can discover ourselves, try different things, meet new people and after try many things we can choose what we want.

✓ People should try as many different things as they can because this allows us to discover ourselves, meet new people, and then choose what we want.

The original sentence contains an incomplete quantifier phrase and several ideas joined without clear structure. Use parallel verb forms such as discover, meet, and choose, and use then instead of the incorrect phrase after try to show the sequence of actions.