Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: La respuesta es relevante y presenta una estructura clara: primero mencionas la guitarra y después el ballet. Sin embargo, debes corregir varios errores gramaticales y de colocación: usa el pasado “gave” en lugar de “gives”, “every day” en lugar de “all the days” y “a year later” en lugar de “one year later”. También necesitas conectar mejor las ideas con expresiones como “In addition” o “As a result”. Intenta dividir la respuesta en dos o tres frases para que suene más natural y evita repetir demasiadas ideas en una sola oración.

例: Yes, I had the opportunity to try several new activities as a child. When I was six, I started playing the guitar, which taught me a lot of responsibility because I had to practise every day. A year later, I took ballet lessons, and they helped me improve my balance and body control.

提案: La respuesta expresa una opinión y ofrece un ejemplo personal, lo cual es positivo. No obstante, hay problemas importantes de gramática y claridad: elimina “tend to to”, cambia “activities you may not know and you are good at” por “activities that you may not be familiar with or good at”, y reemplaza “if you can't try it” por “unless you try them”. Además, la frase “I would be a dancer” no es natural en este contexto; es mejor decir “I would enjoy dancing” o “I would become interested in dance”. Organiza la respuesta con una opinión inicial, una razón y un ejemplo, usando conectores como “because” y “for example”.

例: Yes, I think people should try a wide range of activities because they may discover an unexpected talent or interest. For example, I never thought I would enjoy dancing, but I discovered that I was quite passionate about it after taking ballet lessons. Trying new things can also help people become more confident.

× Yes, when I was six I started playing guitar that gives me a lot of responsibility because I had to practice all the days and one year later I started dancing ballet which helped me to improve my body control.

✓ Yes, when I was six, I started playing the guitar, which gave me a lot of responsibility because I had to practice every day. One year later, I started doing ballet, which helped me improve my body control.

The entire experience happened in the past, so gives must be changed to gave. The relative clause refers to the past effect of learning the guitar. Also, every day is the natural expression for a repeated daily activity; all the days is not appropriate here.

× Yes, when I was six I started playing guitar that gives me a lot of responsibility because I had to practice all the days and one year later I started dancing ballet which helped me to improve my body control.

✓ Yes, when I was six, I started playing the guitar, which gave me a lot of responsibility because I had to practice every day. One year later, I started doing ballet, which helped me improve my body control.

When referring to playing a musical instrument, English normally uses the definite article the: play the guitar, play the piano, and so on.

× Yes, it's very important tend to to try a lot of activities you may not know and you are good at if you can't try it, for example, I never thought that I would be a dancer.

✓ Yes, it is very important to try many different activities, because you may not know what you are good at unless you try them. For example, I never thought that I would become a dancer.

The phrase it is very important must be followed by to plus the base verb, so important tend to to try is grammatically incorrect. The original sentence also contains several ideas joined without a clear structure. Separating and reorganizing the ideas makes the meaning clearer.

× Yes, it's very important tend to to try a lot of activities you may not know and you are good at if you can't try it, for example, I never thought that I would be a dancer.

✓ Yes, it is very important to try many different activities, because you may not know what you are good at unless you try them. For example, I never thought that I would become a dancer.

The pronoun it does not agree with the plural noun activities. Use them to refer to several activities. In addition, what you are good at is the correct structure for referring to an unknown ability or skill.