Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời có ý chính nhưng mắc nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và dùng từ, khiến ý nghĩa chưa rõ. Hãy dùng thì quá khứ nhất quán: “had”, “went”, “attended”, “loved”. Cụm “have a test lesson” nên đổi thành “attended a trial lesson”, “scon” có thể là lỗi phát âm/đánh máy của “school”, còn “the texture of friendly” không tự nhiên; có thể nói “the teachers and students were very friendly”. Nên trả lời trực tiếp rằng đây là một hoạt động mới, sau đó nêu 1–2 lý do cụ thể, chẳng hạn khu vườn đẹp và môi trường thân thiện.

例: Yes. When I was a child, I had the opportunity to attend a trial lesson at Leo Secondary School. I loved the school because it had a beautiful garden, and both the teachers and students were very friendly. It was a new experience for me and made me more interested in learning.

提案: Bạn đã trả lời đúng quan điểm và đưa ra ví dụ, nhưng câu quá dài, nhiều ý bị nối lẫn lộn và có lỗi ngữ pháp. Hãy chia thành 3–4 câu ngắn với cấu trúc rõ ràng: quan điểm → lý do → ví dụ → kết quả. Dùng “many different things, such as learning another language or going to the beach”; “not much time” thay cho “don’t have many time”; và “spend your time doing things that make you feel relaxed and happy” thay cho “you should you time...”. Có thể dùng linking words như “because”, “for example” và “as a result” để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I think people should try different things whenever they can. It helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, they could learn another language or try a new outdoor activity, such as going to the beach. As a result, they may feel more relaxed and gain valuable life experiences.

× I went to Leo Secondary School and have a test lesson in one day.

✓ I went to Leo Secondary School and had a trial lesson there one day.

The sentence describes events that happened in the past, so have must change to the past-tense form had. The phrase there one day is more natural than in one day when referring to a past occasion. Trial lesson is the natural expression for a lesson used to experience a school or class.

× I love that scon because it has a very beautiful garden and the texture of friendly too.

✓ I loved that school because it had a beautiful garden, and the teachers were friendly too.

The original sentence has an incorrect structure in the phrase the texture of friendly. Friendly is an adjective that describes people, so the sentence needs a subject and a verb: the teachers were friendly. Because the story is about a past experience, love and has are changed to loved and had. Scon is also presumably a spelling error for school.

× You don't have many time left.

✓ You don't have much time left.

Time is an uncountable noun when it means an amount of available time, so it must be used with much, not many. Use many with plural countable nouns, such as many opportunities.

× Yes, people should try as many different things as they can like learning another language or doing something that you want to like go to the beach because you don't have many time left and you should you time for what you make you feel relaxed and happy.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can, such as learning another language or doing something they like, such as going to the beach, because they do not have much time left and should make time for activities that make them feel relaxed and happy.

The subject is people, so the pronouns should remain consistent as they and them instead of changing to you. In addition, you should you time is missing the correct object and verb structure; the intended expression is should make time. Use they after activities that to refer back to people.

× Yes, people should try as many different things as they can like learning another language or doing something that you want to like go to the beach because you don't have many time left and you should you time for what you make you feel relaxed and happy.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can, such as learning another language or doing something they like, such as going to the beach, because they do not have much time left and should make time for activities that make them feel relaxed and happy.

The original sentence contains several clauses joined without clear structure. Use such as to introduce examples, use doing something they like instead of doing something that you want to like, and use should make time for activities that make them feel relaxed and happy to form complete and grammatical clauses. Dividing this long sentence into two shorter sentences would also make it clearer.

× You should you time for what you make you feel relaxed and happy.

✓ They should make time for activities that make them feel relaxed and happy.

The verb make agrees with the plural subject activities, so it should be make, not makes. The original phrase you make you feel is also structurally incorrect. The relative clause activities that make them feel correctly shows that the activities cause the feeling.