Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Говорящий отвечает по существу, но ответ можно сделать более естественным и связным: начать с общей темы, затем добавить одну-две конкретные детали и использовать связующие слова. Избегайте тавтологии и грамматических ошибок (например, согласование времен и артикли). Уменьшите длину предложений до не более 4–5 и улучшите формулировки: вместо «I actually was participating» лучше «I joined» или «I took part in».

例: Yes. As a child I joined a dance club and was also a cheerleader, which helped me develop my singing and performance skills. For example, practicing routines with the team improved my confidence and stage presence, so I learned how to perform in front of an audience.

提案: Ответ содержит идея, но плохо сформулирован и повторяет фразы («I think» и «find your like find your talents»). Нужно дать чёткое топик-сентенс, затем 1–2 конкретных причины с логическими связками. Устраните повторы и добавьте пример или результат. Обратите внимание на связующие слова: 'because', 'so', 'for example'.

例: Yes, I do. Trying different activities helps people discover their strengths and interests. For example, by trying sports, music, and clubs, you may find a talent you enjoy, and this can lead to greater confidence and future opportunities.

× I actually was participating in a dance club and I really enjoyed it because that helps me to learn how to perform.

✓ I actually participated in a dance club and I really enjoyed it because that helped me learn how to perform.

The use of past continuous 'was participating' and present tense 'helps' is inconsistent with the past context. Use simple past 'participated' and 'helped' to match the past timeframe. Also omit the unnecessary 'to' after 'helped me' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (simple past) when describing completed past activities.

× I think so because I think it is important to learn different skills in order to find your like find your talents that's why

✓ I think so because it is important to learn different skills in order to find your talents.

This sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical: 'your like find your talents' is redundant and unclear. Remove the repetition and the filler phrase 'that's why' which is unnecessary after giving the reason. Suggestion: Simplify and use a clear clause ('in order to find your talents') and avoid repeating 'I think'.

× I actually was participating in a dance club and I really enjoyed it because that helps me to learn how to perform.

✓ I actually participated in a dance club and I really enjoyed it because that helped me learn how to perform.

The clause 'that helps me' uses third person singular present 'helps' while the rest of the sentence refers to past experiences. Change 'helps' to 'helped' to agree with the past narrative. Suggestion: Match verb form to the timeframe of the sentence.