Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and relevance. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question (e.g., 'No, I didn't have many opportunities.'). Then give one or two specific reasons or an example using linking words (e.g., 'because' or 'so'). Keep it concise (no more than 5 sentences) and avoid repetition. Focus on correct tense (past) and singular/plural forms.

例: No, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my parents were strict and I had to focus on school, so I couldn't join clubs or sports. As a result, I often stayed at home and read instead.

提案: Make the answer more organized and precise. Begin with a clear opinion sentence (e.g., 'Yes, I think people should try different things'). Then give one or two specific reasons and an example using linking words such as 'because', 'for example' or 'also'. Use accurate vocabulary and correct word order, and keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I think people should try different activities because it helps them discover interests and improve mental health. For example, traveling taught me to be more independent and cooking reduces my stress after a busy day. Therefore, trying new things can make life more enjoyable and balanced.

× Did you have an opportunity to take part in new activities as children?

✓ Did you have opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?

The original sentence uses the plural pronoun 'children' while addressing one person; use the singular 'a child' to match the singular 'you' in a childhood context. Also 'opportunity' is better pluralized to 'opportunities' to match general experience.

× No, I don't have any opportunities to take part in new agrees as a children child.

✓ No, I didn't have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child.

The question asks about the past (as a child), so use past tense 'didn't have' not present 'don't have'. 'Agrees' is a mistaken word; the intended word is 'activities'. Also 'children child' is incorrect pronoun/number usage; use 'a child'.

× But I want that opportunity because in my childhood era I don't do new activities because sometimes the pressure of.

✓ But I wanted that opportunity, because in my childhood I didn't do new activities due to pressure sometimes.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses and is incomplete ('pressure of' is unfinished). Align tense to past ('wanted', 'didn't do') because it refers to childhood. Replace 'childhood era' with 'childhood' and complete the reason by saying 'due to pressure' or 'because of pressure'. Use 'sometimes' in a natural position: 'due to pressure sometimes' or 'sometimes due to pressure'.

× Sure people try so many things that they can like their travel, they enjoy their life, they cook they work because of their mental health because what they want they do things.

✓ Sure, people should try as many things as they can, such as travelling, cooking, or working; it helps their mental health and lets them do what they want.

The original mixes modal usage and word order. Use the modal 'should' to express recommendation. Use the phrase 'as many things as they can' and list gerunds properly: 'travelling, cooking, working'. Clarify the reason: 'it helps their mental health' and 'lets them do what they want' for natural English.

× Yes, that's right. People should try different things.

✓ Yes, that's right. People should try different things.

This sentence is already correct; it uses the modal 'should' appropriately and present tense for a general recommendation, so no change is needed.