Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Organize your response with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and avoid repetition. Use one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words. Also correct tense and article errors (e.g., “drawings” → “drawing” or “to draw”), remove filler words and repeated phrases.

例: Yes. I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child, such as drawing and sometimes baking with my mother. For example, I often spent afternoons drawing landscapes and cartoons, which helped me develop patience and attention to detail.

提案: Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then give two concise, linked reasons with correct grammar and precise vocabulary. Fix verb and article errors (e.g., “it's improve” → “it improves”, “as a adult” → “as adults”), and use linking words like “because” and “therefore” to make the argument coherent.

例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it improves their analytical thinking and boosts creativity. For instance, trying music or coding can teach problem-solving skills and later help people choose a suitable career.

× Yes, I had a lot of opportunities when I was a child to take part in activities like drawings or sometimes maybe baking with my mother.

✓ Yes, I had a lot of opportunities when I was a child to take part in activities like drawing or sometimes baking with my mother.

The noun 'drawings' is plural but in this context the gerund 'drawing' (activity) is more appropriate. This is a usage of noun/gerund form rather than a past-tense error; classify as past tense issue because the sentence is set in the past. Suggestion: use gerunds for activities (drawing, baking) to clearly indicate hobbies or activities.

× Mostly I love drawings.

✓ I mostly loved drawing.

The original mixes present tense 'love' with past context 'when I was a child.' Also 'drawings' suggests finished products; 'drawing' as a gerund better expresses the activity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with surrounding sentences (past) and use gerund for activities.

× I used to I I grew up draw, draw a lot of things.

✓ I used to draw a lot when I was growing up.

The original is ungrammatical and contains repetitions. Use the fixed structure 'used to' + base verb for past habits and 'when I was growing up' to indicate time. Suggestion: remove repetitions and use a clear past-habit structure.

× I think yes, people should try as many different things as they can because it's improve their analytical thinking and also improve their creativity.

✓ I think people should try as many different things as they can because it improves their analytical thinking and also improves their creativity.

After modal 'should' the clause explains result; verbs describing general truths require present simple ('improves'). 'It's improve' is incorrect: use 'it improves.' Suggestion: use present simple for general facts and ensure subject-verb agreement ('it' + 'improves').

× It's later help when they grow up as a adult and show their creativity or taking their creativity as in career.

✓ It later helps them when they grow up as adults and show their creativity or use it in their careers.

Multiple issues: 'It's later help' should be 'It later helps them' (subject-verb agreement and verb form). 'a adult' requires 'an adult' but better to use plural 'adults' to match 'they.' 'Taking their creativity as in career' is awkward; use 'use it in their careers.' Suggestion: ensure correct article before vowel sounds ('an adult') and keep number agreement; prefer plural for general statements.