Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and direct. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct tense and grammar (e.g., 'I had' not 'I have' for past). Keep it concise (1–4 sentences).

例: Yes, I had some opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I joined a school art club and a weekend soccer team, which helped me discover my interest in painting and improve my fitness. Because I could try different things, I learned which activities suited me best.

提案: Answer directly and give clear reasons with linking words. Use conditionals and modal verbs correctly (e.g., 'should' and 'can'), avoid repetition, and give a specific example or explanation. Limit to up to four sentences.

例: Yes, people should try a variety of activities because it helps them discover their strengths and interests. For instance, trying music and sports allowed me to see that I preferred creative tasks over competitive games. Therefore, when possible, people can experiment with different activities to find what suits them best.

× I have so many opportunity to take part now, right as a child, but as a child, I know that you understand that many of us is confused what should opportunities we take, should we take and that's opportunities.

✓ I had so many opportunities to take part in when I was a child, but as children, I know that many of us were confused about which opportunities we should take.

This sentence has singular/plural mismatches ('opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities'; 'many of us is' should be 'many of us were') and awkward phrasing. Use plural nouns with quantifiers like 'many' and match the verb to the plural subject ('were' not 'is'). Also adjust tense to past ('had' and 'were') to match 'as a child'. Use 'which opportunities' instead of 'what should opportunities' and 'take part in' for the correct preposition. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for childhood actions, match singular/plural forms, and use correct prepositions and relative words (which/that).

× I have so many opportunity to take part now, right as a child, but as a child, I know that you understand that many of us is confused what should opportunities we take, should we take and that's opportunities.

✓ I had so many opportunities to take part in when I was a child, but as children, I know that many of us were confused about which opportunities we should take.

The original mixes present tense 'I have' with reference to childhood. Change to past tense ('I had', 'when I was a child') to maintain temporal consistency. Present tense 'you understand' is unnecessary and unclear; remove or change to past/conditional as appropriate. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent across the sentence; for past events use past tense verbs.

× I have so many opportunity to take part now, right as a child, but as a child, I know that you understand that many of us is confused what should opportunities we take, should we take and that's opportunities.

✓ I had so many opportunities to take part in when I was a child, but as children, I know that many of us were confused about which opportunities we should take.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'many of us is' should be 'many of us are' or in past 'were'. The verb must agree in number with its subject. Here 'many of us' is plural, so use plural verb forms. Suggestion: Identify the subject ('many of us') and choose the correct plural verb form.

× I have so many opportunity to take part now, right as a child, but as a child, I know that you understand that many of us is confused what should opportunities we take, should we take and that's opportunities.

✓ I had so many opportunities to take part in when I was a child, but as children, I know that many of us were confused about which opportunities we should take.

Preposition error: English uses 'take part in' not 'take part' alone when indicating participation in activities. Also use 'confused about' rather than 'confused what'. Suggestion: Use 'take part in' and 'confused about' followed by a noun or clause introduced by 'which' or 'what'.

× I have so many opportunity to take part now, right as a child, but as a child, I know that you understand that many of us is confused what should opportunities we take, should we take and that's opportunities.

✓ I had many opportunities to take part in as a child, but I know that many of us were confused about which opportunities to choose.

The original sentence is run-on and repetitive ('should we take' repeated, 'that's opportunities' unclear). Simplify and reorder for clarity: state the past experience, then the general observation about confusion, and use concise phrasing ('which opportunities to choose'). Suggestion: Break long sentences into clear clauses and avoid repeating the same phrase.

× Many people can try their things, but many different things that they can.

✓ Many people can try different things that they can.

The original is awkward and partially ungrammatical; no direct third-person singular verb error here but the sentence structure is wrong. Corrected sentence simplifies structure while keeping modal 'can'. Suggestion: Use a clearer object ('different things') and avoid redundant repetition.

× Many people can try their things, but many different things that they can.

✓ Many people can try many different things.

This original is a fragmentary and repetitive sentence. Combine ideas into a single clear sentence: 'try many different things.' Suggestion: Remove unnecessary phrases and ensure subject and verb form a complete clause.

× If they they that things is really one, right?

✓ If they feel that one thing is really for them, right?

Pronoun and word choice errors: duplicated 'they', unclear 'that things is really one'. Replace with clearer pronouns and singular/plural consistency: 'one thing is really for them' or 'they really want one thing'. Suggestion: Avoid duplicating pronouns and ensure noun/pronoun number agreement.

× If they they that things is really one, right?

✓ If they feel that one thing is really for them, right?

'things is' is incorrect because 'things' is plural and 'is' is singular. Match plural subjects with plural verbs or change to singular consistently. Here meaning suggests 'one thing' so use 'is'. Suggestion: Make subject and verb numbers match and eliminate duplicate words.

× If they are really want to explore their ideas, their skills, so why not?

✓ If they really want to explore their ideas and skills, why not?

Incorrect verb construction 'are really want' mixes auxiliary 'are' with base verb incorrectly. Remove 'are' to use the simple present 'want'. Also replace comma and 'so' with concise punctuation. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms ('they really want' not 'they are want') and streamline connectors.

× So if they that is they really want, so they should, they should and they must without hesitating, right?

✓ So if that is what they really want, they should do it without hesitating.

This sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical ('if they that is they really want'). Reorder to 'if that is what they really want' and avoid repeating modal verbs unnecessarily. Use a single clear recommendation. Suggestion: Use 'if that is what they really want' and one modal ('should' or 'must') depending on intended strength; avoid repeating verbs.