Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary, make the response more natural and concise, and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundant phrases, and limit to up to five sentences. For example, correct the name of the activity (if “Chocolate” was a mistake, replace it with the correct sport or say a ‘unique game’). Use a linking phrase to give a reason or a specific memory.

例: Yes. When I was a child I tried a unique game called ‘chocolate relay’ that I had never heard of before. It involved teams passing a chocolate on a spoon, which made it both competitive and fun. Because it required coordination and teamwork, I remember improving my communication with classmates. Overall, it was an enjoyable new experience that boosted my confidence.

提案: Make the opinion direct and grammatical, provide a clear reason and a concise example, and finish the sentence. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and specific benefits. Keep the answer to one or two sentences for a strong topic sentence plus one supporting detail.

例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because doing so exposes you to new perspectives and practical skills. For example, trying part-time jobs and volunteer work taught me time management and teamwork, which have been valuable in my studies and career.

× When I was younger, I engaged in a sport called Chocolate, which I had never heard of it before.

✓ When I was younger, I engaged in a sport called Chocolate, which I had never heard of before.

The clause 'which I had never heard of it before' contains an unnecessary pronoun 'it' after the relative pronoun 'which'. Relative pronoun 'which' already refers to the noun 'Chocolate', so 'it' is redundant. Remove 'it' to form a correct relative clause: 'which I had never heard of before.' This keeps past perfect tense appropriate because it indicates the student had no prior knowledge before engaging in the sport.

× I suggest people to do so because during the process you absorb different perspectives from people or learn new experience and these knowledge will be beneficial for you in the long run when you're dealing with

✓ I suggest that people do so because during the process you absorb different perspectives from others, gain new experiences, and this knowledge will be beneficial to you in the long run when you are dealing with challenges.

Several issues match listed types: 'suggest people to do' is incorrect verb pattern for the verb suggest; it requires 'suggest that people do' or 'suggest people do' (Modal/verb pattern). 'Learn new experience' is incorrect collocation and number: use 'gain new experiences' (singular/plural and noun choice). 'These knowledge' is wrong because 'knowledge' is uncountable and takes singular demonstrative 'this' or no plural marker; use 'this knowledge'. 'Beneficial for you' is acceptable but 'beneficial to you' is more idiomatic. The final clause was incomplete; add a noun 'challenges' to complete meaning. Corrections ensure correct verb pattern, noun usage, and complete sentence structure while keeping intended meaning.