Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and articles, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Add brief specific details (age, type of dance) and linkers for coherence. For example, say when you started, what you learned, and how it affects you now.

例: Yes. I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I started learning dance when I was eight and later completed a diploma in classical dance. Because of that training, I feel confident performing on stage even now.

提案: Make your answer more structured and concise: give a clear opinion, two supporting reasons linked with connectors, and a brief personal example. Correct sentence structure and use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., “experience,” “skills,” “confidence”).

例: Yes, people should try many different activities because it broadens their experience and helps them develop useful skills. For instance, studying dance increased my confidence on stage and improved my public speaking, which helped me lead classes.

× Student: Yes, I have many opportunity to take part in when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in when I was a child.

Grammar problem type ID:1 Singular and plural issue and 5 Past tense issue. The noun 'opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' to match 'many'. The sentence also refers to a past time ('when I was a child'), so the verb should be past tense 'had' rather than present 'have'. Suggestion: use 'had many opportunities' to match plurality and past time reference.

× Student: I first thing I learned about dance and grader I had take the degree in dance.

✓ The first thing I learned was dance, and later I took a degree in dance.

Grammar problem type ID:26 Sentence structure errors, 5 Past tense issue, and 27 Subject-verb agreement errors. The original lacks proper sentence structure and verb forms. 'I first thing I learned about dance' needs a subject and verb: 'The first thing I learned was dance.' 'grader I had take the degree' is ungrammatical; use past tense 'took' and correct word order: 'later I took a degree in dance.' Suggestion: break into two clauses and use past tense verbs and correct word order.

× Student: Now I minimised dance and I have to do a dance in this stage show center

✓ Now I have minimized dancing, and I have to perform a dance at this stage show center.

Grammar problem type ID:8 Verb + -ing form, 6 Present tense issue, and 11 Incorrect use of prepositions. 'Minimised dance' should be 'have minimized dancing' or 'do less dancing' because 'minimize' typically takes a noun or gerund; using the gerund 'dancing' is natural. 'Do a dance in this stage show center' should be 'perform a dance at this stage show center' or 'in this stage show' and preposition 'at' fits location. Suggestion: use present perfect 'have minimized' to indicate change up to now and use 'perform' and 'at' for natural phrasing.

× Student: Yes they need to try many things it gives a different experience and different exposure because the study dance gives me a new experience I became very confident in stage that helped me to give these speech and take classes.

✓ Yes, they need to try many things; it gives different experiences and exposure. Studying dance gave me new experiences; I became very confident on stage, and that helped me give presentations and take classes.

Grammar problem type ID:26 Sentence structure errors, 5 Past tense issue, 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, 11 Incorrect use of prepositions, and 22 Article errors. Multiple issues: run-on sentences need punctuation. 'it gives a different experience and different exposure' should be plural 'experiences' to match general statement. 'the study dance' should be 'studying dance' (gerund) or 'studies in dance'; use past tense 'gave' because referring to past learning. 'I became very confident in stage' should be 'on stage'. 'give these speech' should be 'give presentations' or 'deliver speeches' and 'these' is wrong; use plural 'presentations' or 'speeches'. Suggestion: split into shorter sentences, use gerund 'studying', past tense 'gave', preposition 'on stage', and correct nouns 'presentations' or 'speeches'.

× Student: So if you are doing different

✓ So if you try different things, ...

Grammar problem type ID:26 Sentence structure errors and 6 Present tense issue. The clause is incomplete and ambiguous. Use a complete conditional clause like 'So if you try different things, you will learn a lot' or similar. 'Are doing different' is incomplete; prefer 'try different things' to match the intended meaning. Suggestion: complete the sentence and use simple present 'try' for general advice.