Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản và trật tự từ: nói rõ thì (quá khứ), dùng cấu trúc câu ngắn gọn (1 chủ ngữ + 1 vị ngữ) và nối các ý bằng liên từ hợp lý. Cụ thể: (1) Sử dụng thì quá khứ: "I participated" hoặc "I took part" thay vì pha trộn thì. (2) Tách ý thành câu ngắn: nêu hoạt động, lợi ích, cảm xúc. (3) Dùng liên từ như "and", "which", hoặc "so" để liên kết ý. (4) Tránh lặp từ và dùng từ phù hợp: "experience", "skills", "friendships/relationships". Thực hành nói 2–3 câu hoàn chỉnh, không quá 5 câu, mỗi câu rõ nghĩa.

例: I participated in many activities when I was a child. For example, I joined sports teams and music classes, which helped me gain new skills. These activities were enjoyable and also helped me make friends and build my confidence.

提案: Cải thiện độ chính xác ngôn ngữ và mạch lạc: (1) Loại bỏ tiếng ngắt quãng (uh) khi nói; luyện nói mượt mà. (2) Dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: nêu ý chính, giải thích lý do, đưa ví dụ hoặc kết luận ngắn. (3) Sử dụng đại từ và động từ phù hợp: "keep your confidence", "try new things", "support other people". (4) Dùng liên từ như "because", "for example", "so" để kết nối lí do và kết quả. Giữ 2–4 câu súc tích.

例: Yes, I believe people should try new things because it helps them learn and grow. For example, trying a new hobby can improve your skills and boost your confidence. Also, supporting others who try new things creates a positive environment for everyone.

× When I was a child I am I was participated in many activities, so can some it give me many experience joy whether enjoy I can improve myself, skill and colleague with my many relationship.

✓ When I was a child, I participated in many activities, which gave me a lot of experience and joy. They helped me improve my skills and build many relationships with others.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure problems: unnecessary repetitions ("I am I was"), incorrect verb form ("was participated"), and confused clauses. Use simple past 'participated' for completed childhood actions (Grammar Problem Type ID 5: Past tense issue). Remove passive 'was participated' and use active voice. Combine ideas into clear sentences using relative pronoun 'which' and parallel structure 'experience and joy' and 'improve my skills and build relationships'. Also add commas for clarity.

× I think, uh, people need to, uh, keep the confidence yourself and uh. Learn everything around the new things and give the support of other peoples.

✓ I think people need to keep their confidence, learn about new things, and support other people.

Problems include pronoun mismatch 'people' with singular 'yourself' (Grammar Problem Type ID 12: Incorrect use of pronouns) and incorrect plural 'peoples' (should be 'people'). Also sentence fragments and awkward phrasing. Use plural possessive 'their' to match 'people', use 'learn about new things' for correct preposition (Grammar Problem Type ID 11: Incorrect use of prepositions), and 'support other people' for natural collocation. Remove filler 'uh' and ensure parallel verb forms 'keep, learn, and support'.