Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and add a brief detail or example to make the answer more specific and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one short supporting detail (e.g., how often you did them or a memorable moment). Avoid filler words like “well” and “you know.”

例: Yes. As a child I often joined extracurricular activities such as singing classes, weekend cricket matches and carom games with friends. For example, I practiced singing every Saturday at a local music school, which helped me build confidence performing in front of others.

提案: Give a concise opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and one short example. Remove hesitations and unclear words (e.g., “util to”). Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities because it helps uncover hidden talents and build new skills. For example, trying both sports and music can reveal a talent for teamwork or creativity, which may guide career or hobby choices.

× Well, I took part in activities like singing, playing cricket and playing carom.

✓ Well, I took part in activities like singing, playing cricket, and playing carrom.

The original sentence is mostly correct grammatically but needs a comma before the final item in the list (Oxford comma) to improve clarity and consistency when listing gerunds. Also, the game name is commonly spelled 'carrom.' Keep parallel gerund forms (singing, playing) which are correct; the change is punctuation and correct spelling.

× I think definitely people should try as many things as they can because that will help them to, you know, util to find their own, uh, hidden talents to find their strengths.

✓ I think people should definitely try as many things as they can because that will help them find their hidden talents and discover their strengths.

Errors addressed: awkward adverb placement and filler words removed. 'Definitely' is better placed after the subject for natural flow. 'Help them to find' can be simplified to 'help them find' (both are acceptable, but the latter is more natural). 'Util' is incorrect (likely a typo) and removed. Repetition 'to find their own, hidden talents to find their strengths' becomes concise: 'find their hidden talents and discover their strengths.' This improves clarity and corrects misuse of words and word order.