Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question directly, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Use correct grammar (e.g., past tense and articles) and avoid vague phrases like “so much activities.”

例: Yes. I had several opportunities at school to try new activities. For example, I did a work-experience placement at a local shop, which helped me develop communication skills and understand what it’s like to work with customers.

提案: Answer directly, then give a clear reason and a short example. Use linking words (e.g., because, for example) and correct phrasing (e.g., “find the right field”). Avoid repetition and make one or two concrete points.

例: Yes, I think people should try different things because it helps them find the right field and develop new skills. For example, trying internships or hobbies can reveal strengths you didn’t know you had and guide future study or career choices.

× As I had so much activities which have taken part in the schooling, one of them is work experience that helped me to improve myself.

✓ As I had so many activities during my schooling, one of them was work experience that helped me improve myself.

Problems identified: plural and article use ('much activities' should be 'many activities'); incorrect relative clause and tense consistency ('which have taken part in the schooling' is ungrammatical and awkward; use 'during my schooling'); tense and verb form agreement ('one of them is' should match past context 'was'); unnecessary reflexive-like construction 'helped me to improve myself' is acceptable but 'helped me improve myself' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'many' with countable nouns, use 'during my schooling' for time frame, keep tense consistent (past) and simplify verb phrases. Grammar problem type ID:1,22,26,27

× As people can try out different things for understanding which is the proper field for them and it will improve them for exploring new things.

✓ People should try out different things to find the field that suits them, and it will help them explore new opportunities.

Problems identified: awkward infinitive and purpose expression ('for understanding which is the proper field for them' should be 'to find the field that suits them'); modal choice and register ('can' is possible but 'should' fits the question asking about recommendation); pronoun/reference clarity ('it will improve them for exploring new things' is ungrammatical — 'help them explore new opportunities' is clearer). Suggestion: use 'to' + verb for purpose, choose appropriate modal ('should' for recommendation), and rephrase final clause for clarity and naturalness. Grammar problem type ID:8,16,26,13