Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally relevant and clear, but you can improve by using a concise topic sentence, correcting minor grammar, reducing redundancy, and adding one specific example to make it more vivid. Use linking words to connect sentences and keep the reply to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes — I had many chances to try new activities as a child. My parents encouraged me to join extracurriculars in addition to schoolwork, so I regularly attended the drama club and the chess club. As a result, I became more confident speaking in public and better at strategic thinking.

提案: The idea is clear but the answer is repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence, avoiding repetition, using linking words (for example, therefore, because), and adding a brief specific reason or example. Keep it to 2–3 sentences for fluency.

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them develop new skills and stay healthy. For example, learning a musical instrument improved my concentration, while regular swimming kept me fit and relieved stress.

× My parents always encouraged me to actively participate in extra curricular activities apart from my textbooks and homeworks.

✓ My parents always encouraged me to actively participate in extracurricular activities apart from my textbooks and homework.

Errors: 'extra curricular' should be one word 'extracurricular' and 'homeworks' is incorrect plural; use uncountable 'homework'. These are article/word-form errors and countability issues. Suggestion: use correct compound spelling 'extracurricular' and treat 'homework' as uncountable.

× I was very active in school clubs.

✓ I was very active in school clubs.

No change required; sentence is grammatically correct. It correctly uses plural 'clubs' to match 'was very active in'.

× I genuinely believe that it is always good to increase your skills, take as many take participate in as many activities as a person like there is no harm in learning new skills.

✓ I genuinely believe that it is always good to develop your skills and participate in as many activities as possible because there is no harm in learning new things.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and repetitive ('take as many take participate in as many') and has awkward phrasing ('as a person like'). Fix by combining ideas with 'and' and using 'participate in as many activities as possible'. Replace 'learning new skills' with 'learning new things' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and concise phrasing.

× It always develops a person mentally and physically.

✓ It always helps to develop a person mentally and physically.

Grammatically the original is understandable but slightly awkward; adding 'helps to' clarifies meaning. Alternatively, 'It always develops people mentally and physically' would match plural. Suggestion: use 'helps to develop' for natural phrasing or change 'a person' to 'people' for general statements.