Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, use correct tense and pronouns, avoid repetition and filler words, and give one or two specific supporting details. Aim for 2–4 concise sentences and connect ideas with simple linking words (e.g., "because", "so", "however").

例: No, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because I spent a lot of time in the hospital. As a result, I often stayed indoors and only played simple games with a few visitors, so I missed out on joining clubs or sports.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your opinion, then give a complete reason and a specific example. Use linking words to make the response coherent and finish the thought instead of trailing off. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use accurate grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement, modal verbs).

例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover new talents and interests. For example, trying a short cooking class or a team sport can reveal a hobby you enjoy and improve your confidence.

× So I didn't have any opportunity to take back in new activity when I were a trice because my, uh, my tries, my trice, would it just take uh, it just stay in the hospital, which play with many?

✓ I didn't have any opportunity to take part in new activities when I was a child because my aunt (or caregiver) just stayed in the hospital and I had few people to play with.

Errors: 'take back in' is incorrect verb phrase; correct is 'take part in' (Verb + preposition). 'New activity' should be plural 'new activities' (singular/plural issue). 'when I were a trice' mixes wrong verb form and wrong word; correct is 'when I was a child' (past tense and vocabulary). Run-on and unclear fragments like 'my tries, my trice, would it just take uh' are ungrammatical and needed rephrasing into a clear clause about who stayed in the hospital (subject-verb agreement and sentence structure). Suggestions: use the past simple 'was' for 'I' (past tense), use 'take part in' for participating, pluralize countable nouns when general ('activities'), and rewrite unclear phrases into a single clause naming the person (aunt/caregiver) and the consequence (few people to play with).

× Yes I think people need to try many different things because when they try the new activity you can

✓ Yes, I think people should try many different things because when they try new activities they can...

Errors: 'need to' is acceptable but 'should' better expresses advice (modal verb choice). 'the new activity' incorrectly uses the definite article and singular; use 'new activities' (article/number). 'you can' shifts person inconsistently; maintain third person 'they can' to match 'people' (pronoun agreement). Also sentence is incomplete; end with expected result. Suggestions: keep consistent subject and pronoun (people/they), use plural for general activities, and choose appropriate modal verbs for advice (should/need to).