Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more fluently and organize sentences with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Reduce fillers (uh) and correct grammar (e.g., 'people in my house' → 'people in my family', 'my aunt also play' → 'my aunt also played'). Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Add one specific detail such as age when you started or a short result (e.g., concerts or exams) to make the response richer.

例: Yes. My parents encouraged me to try new activities when I was young. For example, because several family members played music, I started learning the piano at age seven. As a result, I enjoyed performing at school recitals and improved my confidence. This early exposure helped me appreciate different hobbies.

提案: Make the answer more coherent and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons linked with linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so'). Avoid repetition ('trying different' repeated) and unfinished endings. Keep within five sentences and provide a concluding remark.

例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities. Trying new things helps people discover their strengths and interests, because experience reveals what they enjoy and what they are good at. For example, experimenting with sports or arts can show someone they prefer teamwork or creativity. Therefore, this exploration makes it easier to choose a career or hobby later on.

× For example, uh, I was interested in music because, uh, people are in my house, like my aunt also play piano and I want to play piano.

✓ For example, I was interested in music because people in my house, like my aunt, also played the piano and I wanted to play too.

Pronoun and reference issues combined with tense and verb agreement: 'people are in my house' is awkward; use 'people in my house' to describe who influenced you. 'My aunt also play' uses incorrect verb form for third person past; change to 'my aunt also played'. Maintain past tense ('was interested', 'wanted') for consistency. Add articles: 'the piano' is idiomatic. Suggestion: keep referents clear and match tense across clauses.

× They encourage me to learn, uh.

✓ They encouraged me to learn.

Tense consistency and verb form: the context is past, so use past tense 'encouraged' not present 'encourage'. Also this is not third-person singular (they), but the error is tense; however third person singular rule relates to verb form — ensure verb agrees with subject and tense. Suggestion: keep past tense for past narratives.

× Yes, I think people should try uh, many different things as much as they can and in the case that they can afford because trying a different trying different thing help people to learn more about themselves and when they grow up, they know what they want to do, but it's also come to the.

✓ Yes, I think people should try many different things as much as they can, if they can afford to, because trying different things helps people learn more about themselves, and when they grow up they know what they want to do.

Multiple errors: 'in the case that they can afford' is wordy; use 'if they can afford to'. 'trying a different trying different thing' is redundant; use 'trying different things'. 'help' should be 'helps' because the gerund phrase 'trying different things' is singular as a subject, or 'trying different things helps people...' Also remove extraneous 'to the' fragment at the end. Suggestions: avoid repetition, ensure subject-verb agreement with gerund subjects, and use concise conditional phrasing.