Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Работайте над ясностью и структурой ответа. Начинайте с чётного тематического предложения, затем добавляйте 1–2 конкретных поддерживающих детали. Избегайте повторов и заполнителей («uh», «like»). Уточняйте связи между идеями с помощью связующих слов (for example, moreover, because). Также обращайте внимание на грамматику (времена, согласование) и произношение слов, чтобы фразы были более понятными.

例: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my parents encouraged me. For example, they taught me to help with daily chores and sometimes included me in tasks at their small business. As a result, I learned responsibility and basic work skills from an early age.

提案: Сфокусируйтесь на прямом ответе и используйте логичную аргументацию. Начните с выражения мнения (Yes/No/It depends), затем приведите 1–2 конкретные причины с примерами, используя связки (however, because, for example). Упростите структуру предложений и проверьте грамматику (правильные предлоги и форма глаголов). Избегайте слов-паразитов и повторений.

例: I think it depends on a person’s situation and interests. For example, someone with time and curiosity should try different jobs or hobbies to find what they enjoy; however, others with family responsibilities might focus on a few activities that fit their schedule.

× Yes I do. I have too many opportunities to take part in any activities because of my parents.

✓ Yes, I did. I had many opportunities to take part in various activities because of my parents.

The student uses present tense 'do' and 'have' while referring to childhood (past). Use past tense 'did' and 'had' to match the time frame. Also 'too many' implies excess; 'many' or 'a lot of' is more appropriate. 'Any activities' is vague; 'various activities' is clearer. Suggestion: identify the time reference (childhood) and use past tense consistently, choose more precise quantifiers.

× Really helpful to do my, uh, daily chores.

✓ They were really helpful in teaching me to do my daily chores.

Fragment lacks a subject and full verb. The intended meaning is that parents helped the student learn chores. Recast as a full sentence: subject 'They', verb phrase 'were helpful in teaching me to do'. Use infinitive 'to do' with 'teaching' for clarity. Suggestion: always include a subject and a complete verb, and express the agent and action clearly.

× Not only this, but also when it comes to activities they are really good at, to assisting with their business Allies.

✓ Not only this, but when it comes to activities they are also really good at assisting with their business affairs.

Problems: incorrect preposition and word choice. 'Good at assisting' is correct structure (preposition 'at' followed by gerund). 'To assisting' is wrong. 'Allies' is incorrect word; 'affairs' fits context (business matters). Also 'but also' ordering adjusted. Suggestion: use 'good at' + gerund, choose correct nouns ('affairs') and avoid redundant 'but also' placement.

× Give me any, give me most.

✓ They gave me many opportunities and supported me the most.

Original consists of incomplete imperative-like fragments that do not fit context. In past narrative, use past tense: 'They gave me many opportunities' and clarify 'supported me the most' or 'they helped me the most'. Suggestion: turn fragments into complete past-tense clauses that express who did what.

× Umm, from my perspective, they it depends of their opportunities.

✓ Umm, from my perspective, it depends on their opportunities.

Errors: extraneous pronoun 'they' and wrong preposition 'of'. Correct structure is 'it depends on' + noun. Suggestion: remove unnecessary words and use fixed expression 'depends on'.

× If they have the enough the qualities, they may do try different things such as we may see like to to taking everything new like their jobs or their daily chores, daily activities, I mean.

✓ If they have enough qualities, they may try different things, such as taking on new tasks at work or in their daily activities.

Multiple errors: extra definite articles 'the enough the qualities' should be 'enough qualities' (no 'the'). 'May do try' is redundant; choose 'may try' or 'try'. Remove duplicate 'to to' and incorrect verb form 'taking everything new like their jobs'—use 'taking on new tasks at work'. Clean up repetition 'daily chores, daily activities'. Suggestion: simplify modal + verb ('may try'), use 'enough' before plural noun without article, and use 'taking on' for new responsibilities.