Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and logical supporting details. Fix tense and subject-verb agreement, remove irrelevant phrases (e.g. 'something with my sleeping'), and give one or two specific examples of activities you avoided or tried. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Aim for 2–4 sentences total.

例: When I was a child I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities because I was quite shy. For example, I rarely joined school clubs or sports teams, preferring to stay at home and read or practice cooking with my mother. Because of this, I missed chances to meet new people and develop confidence.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence and then support it with specific reasons and an example. Correct grammar (e.g. 'new things', 'have' -> 'has', 'grow' not 'be grown'), and use linking words such as 'because', 'for example' or 'however' appropriately. Keep it to 2–4 sentences and be more precise about benefits of trying new things (skills, confidence, opportunities).

例: I believe people should try as many different things as they can because it helps them develop new skills and build confidence. For example, learning a musical instrument or volunteering can expand your social circle and improve problem-solving abilities.

× Honestly, when I was a child, I'm a shy kid, I didn't have many opportunities to do new things because I prefer to stay at my home to do something with my sleeping and love to cooking with my.

✓ Honestly, when I was a child, I was a shy kid; I didn't have many opportunities to try new things because I preferred to stay at home, sleep, and cook.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly (Present tense issue). 'I'm a shy kid' should be past: 'I was a shy kid' to match 'when I was a child'. 'Prefer' should be past 'preferred'. 'At my home' is wordy; 'at home' is correct. Phrases 'to do something with my sleeping' and 'love to cooking with my' are ungrammatical—replace with 'sleep' and 'cook'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for childhood descriptions and use simple verbs (sleep, cook).

× From my perspective, everyone should do something with news things because everyone have a safe zone of that that.

✓ From my perspective, everyone should try new things because everyone has a comfort zone.

The original uses 'do something with news things' and 'everyone have' (Modal verb usage and subject-verb agreement). 'Should' is fine but the object is incorrect. Replace with 'try new things'. Also fix subject-verb agreement: 'everyone has' not 'everyone have'. Suggestion: use 'try' after 'should' and ensure 'everyone' takes singular verb 'has'.

× However, when you go out safe zone, you will be grown.

✓ However, when you step out of your comfort zone, you will grow.

This sentence misuses 'be grown' and lacks preposition (Present tense issue and Incorrect use of prepositions). Use the base verb 'grow' with future 'will grow'. Also insert preposition 'out of' and the correct phrase 'comfort zone'. Suggestion: use 'step out of your comfort zone' and 'you will grow'.