Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 文の構成と文法に注力してください。まず直接的なトピック文で答え、その後で理由や詳細を繋げる接続語（for example, because, so）を使って説明しましょう。発音と時制の一致（過去形など）も改善点です。具体的には：1) 主語と助動詞を明確にし、文を完結させる。2) 理由を述べるときは because や as を使う。3) 結果や変化（現在の状態）を言うときは so や now を使う。

例: Yes, I had opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I learned to swim at school because my primary school offered swimming classes. At first I couldn’t swim, but after several months of lessons I became confident in the water. Now I can swim well and I enjoy going to the pool.

提案: 論理のつながりと具体性を高めてください。最初に意見を明確に述べ、その後に理由や具体例で支えます。接続詞（because, for example, while）を使って文をつなぎ、語彙を正確に選びましょう（“scar artists”は誤用に見えます）。また一つの考えを説明する際は1〜3文にまとめ、冗長な表現を避けること。

例: I think people should not try everything; instead, it is better to focus on a few important interests. Because focusing allows you to develop deeper skills and achieve better results. For example, when I concentrated only on my studies, my grades improved significantly compared with when I tried to do many activities at once.

× is I had opportunities to take part in swimming reason as a child think I was a mental school student.

✓ I had the opportunity to take part in swimming when I was a student at a boarding school.

The original sentence has incorrect word order, missing capitalization, and unclear phrases. 'is' at the start is unnecessary; 'opportunities' should be singular 'opportunity' when referring to a specific chance; 'reason as a child think I was a mental school student' is ungrammatical and likely intended to mean 'when I was a student at a boarding (or residential) school'. Rearranging into a clear past-tense sentence fixes the structure. Suggestion: state the subject first, use 'when' for time clauses, and choose the correct noun phrase ('boarding school' instead of 'mental school').

× I can't swim but I can swim now.

✓ I couldn't swim then, but I can swim now.

The sentence mixes tenses incorrectly. It should contrast a past inability with a present ability. Use 'couldn't' or 'could not' for past inability and 'can' for present ability. This clarifies the time frame. Suggestion: use past tense for past states and present tense for current states when contrasting.

× I don't think so because it's important to focus on one thing.

✓ I don't think so because it's important to focus on one thing at a time.

The sentence is mostly correct but can be improved for clarity: adding 'at a time' emphasizes focusing on a single thing. Suggestion: include time-focused phrase to convey the intended meaning more naturally.

× For example when I focus on only studies.

✓ For example, when I focused only on my studies,

This fragment lacks a main clause and has tense inconsistency. The examiner's question is general but the student refers to a past example, so use past tense 'focused' and complete the sentence with a main clause. Suggestion: attach the consequence or result to complete the example (e.g., 'For example, when I focused only on my studies, I achieved good results').

× I got good scar artists.

✓ I got good scores.

'Scar artists' is a mispronunciation or typo. The intended phrase is likely 'scores' meaning grades. 'Good scores' is the correct adjective+noun combination. Suggestion: use 'scores' to refer to exam results or 'grades' if that's intended; ensure correct spelling to avoid confusion.