Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct phrases like “take part of” to “take part in” and “practicing on a volunteer work” to “doing volunteer work.” Keep it under five sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes. I often took part in different activities at school, such as planting trees and doing volunteer work. For example, I helped organise a weekly community clean-up, which taught me teamwork and responsibility.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with reasons and an example. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, however) to make your answer coherent. Correct grammar: say “voluntary” vs “volunteering,” and use complete sentences.

例: Yes, I think people should try different things because it helps them discover their interests and skills. For example, by trying sports, music and volunteering, someone might find a passion they want to pursue further.

× Yes, when I was a child I used to take part of many activities at school such as planting trees, practicing on a volunteer work, like helping people

✓ Yes, when I was a child I used to take part in many activities at school such as planting trees and doing volunteer work, like helping people.

The phrase 'take part of' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'take part in' (Grammar Problem Type ID 8 and 11). 'Practicing on a volunteer work' is ungrammatical: use 'doing volunteer work' or 'volunteering' (verb + -ing form and preposition misuse). Also join items with 'and' for parallel structure. Suggestion: use 'take part in' + noun phrase and use 'doing volunteer work' or 'volunteering' for clarity.

× It's a voluntary it's a voluntary work so people can do whatever whatever they can do.

✓ It's volunteer work, so people can do whatever they want.

The phrase 'a voluntary work' is incorrect because 'work' in this sense is uncountable and does not take 'a' (Grammar Problem Type ID 22). Also 'voluntary' is an adjective but 'volunteer work' or 'volunteering' is the correct noun form. 'Whatever whatever they can do' is repetitive and unnatural; replace with 'whatever they want' to fit meaning and tense.

× No one's there is no rule and no one's push somebody to do something

✓ There are no rules and no one pushes anyone to do something.

The original mixes contractions and word order incorrectly. 'No one's there is no rule' is ungrammatical; use 'There are no rules' (there be issue and plural noun) (Grammar Problem Type ID 3 and 27). 'No one's push somebody' misuses pronoun and verb form; use 'no one pushes anyone' for subject-verb agreement and correct pronouns. Ensure present simple third-person singular verb 'pushes' is used.