Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and verb tense errors (use simple past: 'I had' or 'I took').

例: Yes. I learned judo as a child, which taught me new techniques and improved my discipline. Because of regular practice, I became more confident and physically fit, and those skills helped me in school and everyday life.

提案: Give a direct opinion sentence, then support it with a clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and correct wording ('those experiences' not 'those old things'). Keep sentences shorter and avoid repetition.

例: Absolutely — people should try many different things because it builds experience and resilience. For example, learning several hobbies or jobs can provide alternative options if you face a setback, so you can adapt more easily.

× Yeah, when I was a child I had got a opportunity to learn Judo and from that I had a lot of new techniques and skills that I have learned and from that I had a lot of confidence in my life.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child I got an opportunity to learn judo, and from that I learned many new techniques and skills, and I gained a lot of confidence in my life.

Errors: 'had got' is incorrect past perfect/context — simple past 'got' is appropriate (Past tense issue ID 5 and Present tense issue ID 6 interplay, but primary fix is past tense). 'a opportunity' uses incorrect article for a noun starting with a consonant sound; use 'an opportunity' (Article error ID 22). 'Judo' should be lowercase unless style requires capitalizing martial arts names; 'many' is preferred over 'a lot of' for countable plural 'techniques and skills' (Singular and plural and quantifier issue ID 1/14). 'that I have learned' mixes present perfect with past narrative; use simple past 'I learned' to match 'when I was a child'. 'had a lot of confidence' should be 'gained a lot of confidence' to show result. Suggestions: use simple past consistently for past events, use correct article 'an', use plural/quantifier 'many' for countable items, and choose verbs that clearly show change of state (gained).

× Yeah, I'll say absolutely people should try as many things as they can because from that from those all things people get a lot of experience which ultimately gave them several paths during the difficult situation so that they can overcome through those old things.

✓ Yeah, I'd say absolutely people should try as many things as they can, because from those experiences people gain a lot of experience, which ultimately gives them several paths during difficult situations so that they can overcome those challenges.

Errors: 'I'll say' is unnatural for giving an opinion here; 'I'd say' or 'I would say' is more idiomatic (Modal verb usage ID 4). Redundant and awkward phrases: 'from that from those all things' should be simplified to 'from those experiences'. Tense inconsistency: 'get' and then 'gave' mix present and past; use present 'gain' and 'gives' to state general truth (Present tense issue ID 6 and Past tense issue ID 5). 'during the difficult situation' needs plural 'difficult situations' for generality (Singular/plural ID 1). 'overcome through those old things' is incorrect collocation; use 'overcome those challenges' or 'overcome difficulties' (Incorrect use of prepositions/construction ID 11/26). Suggestions: choose idiomatic modal form, avoid redundancy, keep consistent present tense for general statements, use correct nouns ('experiences', 'challenges'), and correct verb forms.