Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with grammar and sentence structure: use correct verb forms (didn't take), add commas or break into shorter sentences, and avoid redundancy. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words (for example, because/so). Also vary vocabulary slightly (hesitation → reluctance; stage fear → stage fright). Keep it natural and under five sentences.

例: I had several chances to try new activities as a child, but I rarely took them because I was very shy and lacked confidence. For example, I avoided school plays and public speaking because I suffered from stage fright. As a result, I missed opportunities to develop social skills and confidence.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give one or two clear reasons supported by specific examples. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing (remove duplicate words and extra clauses). Use linking words (for example, because, therefore, for instance) and more precise vocabulary (explore → discover, knowledge → understanding or experience). Keep it concise (max five sentences).

例: Yes, people should try different things because it helps them gain new skills and broaden their perspective. For instance, learning a musical instrument or volunteering can teach discipline and teamwork. Therefore, trying varied activities makes life more interesting and increases personal growth.

× As in my childhood I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities but generally I didn't took part in any of those activities because I had hesitation and I lost confidence I had a stage fear so that I missed a lot of opportunities there.

✓ In my childhood I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities, but generally I didn't take part in any of them because I was hesitant and lacked confidence; I had stage fright, so I missed many opportunities.

The sentence contains an incorrect past tense form after the auxiliary 'did' (should be base verb 'take' not 'took'), so classify as Past tense issue. Also multiple problems related to word choice and punctuation were adjusted while keeping to allowed error types: 'didn't took' -> 'didn't take' fixes auxiliary + base verb rule; 'I had hesitation' -> 'I was hesitant' uses correct adjective form; 'I lost confidence' -> 'lacked confidence' is more natural in past context; 'stage fear' -> 'stage fright' is the correct idiom; 'a lot of opportunities there' -> 'many opportunities' is more concise. Suggestion: after 'did' always use the base verb form; use adjectives (hesitant) rather than nouns (hesitation) when describing a state; use common idioms (stage fright); break long sentences with punctuation for clarity.

× Yes, definitely in my opinion people should try different things as when they explore the new things they get they need to get the knowledge on various kinds of things and they would explore explore more things in the world.

✓ Yes, definitely. In my opinion people should try different things because when they explore new activities they gain knowledge about a variety of topics and will discover more of the world.

The sentence has awkward modal and auxiliary use; classified as Modal verb usage because 'would explore explore' and 'they get they need to get' show incorrect modal/auxiliary phrasing. Corrections: split into two sentences for clarity; 'as when' -> 'because when' clarifies causal link; remove redundant words 'the' and duplicate 'explore'; 'they get they need to get the knowledge' -> 'they gain knowledge' uses correct verb and avoids unnecessary repetition; 'they would explore more things' -> 'will discover more of the world' matches the general recommendation tone. Suggestion: avoid repeating words, use clear causal connectors (because), and choose appropriate modal/tense (will) for likely outcomes.