Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (uh, um). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific examples with a linking word. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., "I had many opportunities to try new activities because my parents encouraged me").

例: Yes. I had many opportunities to try new activities because my parents encouraged me. For example, they enrolled me in drawing classes and singing lessons, which helped me discover my interest in art and music.

提案: Organize your response with a clear opinion first, then support it with a specific reason and avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and finish the sentence. Provide a general recommendation rather than a fragmented thought.

例: Yes, I think people should try different things. For example, if someone is unsure about a career, trying internships or hobbies can help them discover their strengths, so they are more likely to make a confident decision later.

× I think I had a myriad of opportunities, uh, related to some hobbies because my parents always, uh, supported my trying to some hobbies like uh, drawing or music, vocals and something like this.

✓ I think I had a myriad of opportunities related to various hobbies because my parents always supported me in trying hobbies like drawing or singing.

The phrase 'supported my trying to some hobbies' uses incorrect prepositions and verb forms. Use 'supported me in trying' or 'supported my trying' (nominal) but 'supported me in trying' is more natural. 'Some hobbies' is vague; 'various hobbies' or simply 'hobbies' is better. 'Music, vocals' is awkward; 'singing' is the correct noun form. Overall adjust prepositions and noun forms for clarity.

× From my point of view, they should try many different things if they can't find something for them, because I have a lot of friends who umm, didn't decide yet what to choose from and uh, it's a very irritating thing for them.

✓ From my point of view, they should try many different things if they can't find something that suits them, because I have a lot of friends who haven't decided yet what to choose, and it's very frustrating for them.

There are tense and verb form issues. 'Didn't decide yet' is incorrect for present relevance; use present perfect 'haven't decided yet'. Also 'irritating' is correct but 'frustrating' is more natural here. 'Something for them' is awkward; 'something that suits them' is clearer. This corrects tense and verb usage (third person context requires appropriate present perfect here).

× So I think yes, if you can't find something for for.

✓ So I think yes, you should try many things if you can't find something that fits you.

The original sentence is incomplete and repeats 'for'. It lacks a clear object and verb structure. Provide a complete clause to match the question context: 'you should try many things if you can't find something that fits you.' This fixes sentence structure and repetition.