Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify grammar and be more specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and plural forms, and give one or two specific examples with brief details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and limit to up to five sentences.

例: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my parents encouraged me to learn the piano and to join a local scouts group, which taught me practical skills like camping and teamwork. As a result, I became more confident and curious about trying other things.

提案: Make the opinion clear and support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Correct word forms (confidence, disciplined) and avoid repetition. Provide one or two concise reasons or an example to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, I believe people should try a variety of activities because it builds confidence and discipline. For instance, learning a sport can improve physical fitness and teamwork, while studying a musical instrument can develop patience and concentration.

× My parent took me a lot of have opportunities for example lighting a host and playing the piano.

✓ My parents gave me many opportunities, for example joining a choir and learning to play the piano.

Original sentence has wrong singular/plural pronoun ('parent' vs 'parents') and incorrect verb choice ('took me a lot of have opportunities') which is ungrammatical. 'Took me' should be 'gave me' or 'provided me with', and 'a lot of have opportunities' should be 'many opportunities'. 'Lighting a host' is likely a misphrase; 'joining a choir' fits context. Use plural 'parents' if referring to both, or 'my parent' with appropriate singular verbs. Suggestion: use 'gave me many opportunities' and correct noun phrases to convey the intended activities.

× So I experienced many play opportunities.

✓ So I had many opportunities to play.

The phrase 'play opportunities' is unnatural in English. The verb 'experienced' is acceptable but 'had many opportunities to play' is more natural and follows correct word order: determiner + noun phrase + infinitive. Suggest using 'had many opportunities to play' to convey meaning clearly.

× Yes, I think they can try many things they will have more confident and displined.

✓ Yes, I think if they try many things, they will become more confident and disciplined.

Original sentence mixes modal and future clauses incorrectly and has adjective/adverb errors. 'Can try many things' is okay, but the result clause needs a conditional 'if' and correct verb tense: 'they will become'. 'More confident and displined' uses adjectives; 'displined' is misspelled and should be 'disciplined'. Also 'more confident' is correct (comparison), but include 'become' to complete the idea. Suggest using conditional structure: 'if... they will...'.

× So So people have to do more activities.

✓ So people should take part in more activities.

Repetition 'So So' is an error. 'Have to do more activities' is grammatical but sounds awkward; 'should take part in more activities' is more natural and matches the advisory tone. Also choose 'should' instead of 'have to' to match the suggestion context. Remove duplication and use concise phrasing.