Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, tense consistency and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, add one or two specific supporting details, and use a linking word to connect ideas. Keep it natural and within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes. When I was a child I had the opportunity to learn dancing at school. My teacher encouraged me, and my classmates often joined my performances, which made everyone happy.

提案: Reduce filler words, make one clear opinion sentence, then add a specific reason and example with linking words. Use appropriate vocabulary (try, activities, hobbies, experiences) and concise structure (2–4 sentences).

例: Yes, I think people should try many different activities because it helps them discover new interests and skills. For example, visiting new places or taking up sports can broaden your perspective and keep life interesting.

× Yes, when I was a child I has a chance to do my activity which is dancing.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a chance to do an activity, which was dancing.

The verb 'has' does not agree with the subject 'I' in past tense. Use past tense 'had' for 'I' (subject-verb agreement). Also use the article 'an' before the countable noun 'activity' and match the relative clause tense ('which was dancing'). Suggestion: use past tense verbs consistently for past-time contexts and include appropriate articles.

× I do that in the class.

✓ I did that in class.

The context is past (when I was a child) so use past tense 'did' (present tense 'do' is incorrect). Also 'in class' is the natural expression; 'the class' implies a specific physical classroom and is unnecessary here. Suggestion: use past tense and omit the definite article when referring to attending class in general.

× So my teacher and my classmate enjoy with my activity and start to clubbing and happy.

✓ So my teacher and my classmates enjoyed my performance and started dancing and were happy.

Multiple issues: 'classmate' should be plural 'classmates' if referring to more than one; 'enjoy with' is incorrect—use 'enjoyed' followed directly by the object ('enjoyed my performance'). Tense should be past ('enjoyed', 'started'). 'Start to clubbing' is ungrammatical—use 'started dancing' or 'started celebrating'. 'Happy' needs a linking verb 'were happy'. Suggestion: make subjects and verbs agree in number and tense, use correct verb complements, and include linking verbs for adjectives.

× Yes, sure, every person has uh, two uh, different things, uh, as they can like people can do many exercise and activity in their life because our life is I think very long.

✓ Yes, of course; people should try different things. They can do many exercises and activities in their lives because life, I think, is long.

Several quantifier and noun-number errors: 'every person has two different things' is unclear and likely wrong quantifier—'people should try different things' is clearer. 'Many exercise and activity' uses singular nouns incorrectly; use plural 'many exercises and activities'. 'Our life' should be 'our lives' when referring to people in general. Suggestion: match quantifiers with plural nouns and use clear, natural expressions.

× So can do uh, some trip or some enjoy.

✓ So they can take trips or enjoy themselves.

Sentence lacks an explicit subject ('they'); verb phrase 'can do some trip' is unnatural—use 'take trips'. 'Some enjoy' is ungrammatical; use 'enjoy themselves' or 'have fun'. Maintain modal 'can' with a clear subject. Suggestion: include subjects, use natural collocations like 'take trips' and reflexive where appropriate.