Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and use correct tense. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No) then give one or two specific supporting details. Use past tense for childhood, avoid repetitions and filler words. Link supporting detail with a connector such as “for example” or “because.”

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. For example, I joined the school drama club and a weekend science club, which helped me build confidence and learn teamwork.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with reasons. Begin with a direct statement (I think/Yes/No), then give one or two specific reasons using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid vague phrasing and incomplete sentences.

例: I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover their interests and skills. For example, trying sports, arts, or volunteering can reveal a talent or passion you might not otherwise find.

× Well, I do have opportunities when I was a child.

✓ Well, I had opportunities when I was a child.

The speaker mixes present tense 'do have' with past time reference 'when I was a child'. This is a tense error. Use past simple 'had' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: use 'I had' for past events and avoid present forms with past time markers.

× Well, I do so much work like I mean assignments, studies like that.

✓ Well, I did so much work, like assignments and studying.

The sentence has awkward structure and incorrect tense. 'Do' present should be 'did' for past context; 'studies' is a noun but 'studying' or 'study' fits better. Also use 'and' instead of repeated 'like'. Suggestion: use past tense verbs and parallel forms (assignments and studying).

× Well I don't know but some people may be the us of individual person we have different things to do like for example activities or a opportunities with

✓ Well, I don't know, but some people may be different as individuals; we have different things to do, for example activities or opportunities.

Multiple issues: tense and sentence structure. 'May be the us of individual person' is incorrect phrasing. Keep 'I don't know' present tense for opinion, but rephrase the rest to coherent present-tense statements. Remove incorrect article before 'opportunities' and use plural 'opportunities'. Suggestion: simplify to 'some people may differ as individuals' or 'some people, as individuals, have different activities or opportunities.'