Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorez la fluidité et la précision grammaticale : utilisez le pluriel et des articles corrects, évitez les répétitions et ajoutez une phrase de développement courte et spécifique. Par exemple, regroupez les informations en une phrase thématique puis développez avec un détail concret (où, quand ou comment cela vous a aidé).

例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. My parents signed me up for drawing and swimming lessons, and I attended weekly classes at the community center, which helped me build confidence and discipline.

提案: Corrigez les problèmes de répétition et structurez la réponse : commencez par une opinion nette, puis donnez deux raisons claires liées à bénéfices concrets, en utilisant des mots de liaison pour la cohérence. Évitez les expressions familières trop absolues et préférez un ton réfléchi.

例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities because it helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. For example, trying team sports can improve communication, while learning an instrument can boost concentration and creativity.

× My parent signed me up for drawing lessons and swimming lessons

✓ My parents signed me up for drawing lessons and swimming lessons

The noun 'parent' is singular but context implies both or at least more than one parent; 'parents' plural is the natural collocation when referring to the caregivers who sign a child up for classes. Use plural to match the intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'parents' when referring to both mother and father, or 'my parent' only if you mean a single caregiver and that is clear.

× Yes, people should try as many different things as they can Because because in this life we only live once, so they need to try new things and explore opportunities.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can because we only live once, so they need to try new things and explore opportunities.

The sentence contains a repeated word 'Because because' and incorrect capitalization after 'because'. This is a sentence structure error and redundancy. Remove the duplicate and use lowercase 'because' to join the clauses. Also 'in this life' is redundant; 'we only live once' is sufficient. Suggestion: avoid repeating conjunctions and ensure correct capitalization after conjunctions.