Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorer la grammaire (temps et accords), la précision du vocabulaire et la clarté de la structure. Par exemple, utiliser le passé simple/continuous correct pour parler d'événements passés, remplacer des formulations vagues («be ported to») par des verbes appropriés («be introduced to», «take part in») et éviter les répétitions. Organisez la réponse avec une phrase principale suivie d'un ou deux détails précis et un exemple. Travaillez aussi la prononciation des mots clés comme "swimming" et "drawing" et limitez la réponse à 2–4 phrases naturelles.

例: Yes, I had many opportunities when I was a child. For example, I learned to swim at school and I was introduced to several art classes where I practised drawing and crafts. These activities helped me become more confident and creative.

提案: Simplifier et clarifier la réponse en évitant les répétitions et les erreurs de mot (p.ex. «do the opportunity»). Améliorer la cohésion en utilisant des mots de liaison (e.g., "because", "for example", "so") et donner des raisons spécifiques et concises. Remplacez termes vagues («new emotion», «new faculty») par idées concrètes («new skills», «new perspectives»). Limitez la réponse à 2–3 phrases bien structurées.

例: Yes, I believe people should try different activities because it helps them learn new skills and discover interests. For example, trying a musical instrument or a sport can improve confidence and broaden your opportunities in the future.

× Yes, when I was a child I have a lot of new opportunities.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a lot of new opportunities.

The sentence mixes past time marker 'when I was a child' with the present tense 'have'. Use past simple 'had' to match the past context. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for events in the past: 'I had a lot of new opportunities.'

× I have the chance to go swimming for example, or to be ported to lot of art activity and manual activity like drawing.

✓ I had the chance to go swimming, for example, or to be exposed to a lot of art activities and hands-on activities like drawing.

Problems: 'to be ported to' is incorrect; likely meant 'exposed to'. 'A lot of' requires the article 'a' and 'activity' should be plural when referring to multiple activities. 'Manual activity' is awkward; 'hands-on activities' is more natural. Also change 'have' to 'had' to match past context. Suggestion: replace incorrect preposition and verb phrase with 'exposed to', add 'a', and use plural nouns.

× Yes, I think if people have the chance to do the opportunity to try new things, I think it's very important because it helps us to develop a new emotion and new ability and new faculty to do new thing.

✓ Yes, I think if people have the chance to try new things, it's very important because it helps us develop new emotions, abilities, and skills for trying new things.

Redundancy and incorrect phrase 'do the opportunity' should be removed. 'Helps us to develop' can be simplified to 'helps us develop'. 'New emotion' is odd; 'new emotions' or 'emotional growth' fits better. 'New faculty' is incorrect in this context; use 'skills' or 'abilities'. Maintain plural forms for countable nouns. Suggestion: remove redundant words, use appropriate nouns 'emotions' and 'skills', and correct verb forms.

× And I think it's a change that we have to take.

✓ And I think it's a change that we have to make.

The verb collocation 'take a change' is incorrect in English. The correct collocation is 'make a change' meaning to change something or 'take the opportunity' for different meaning. Suggestion: use 'make a change' when referring to altering behavior or circumstances.