Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and subject–verb agreement, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my parents encouraged me to join different clubs. For example, I tried football and piano lessons, which helped me make friends and develop discipline. Because of those experiences, I became more confident trying unfamiliar things.

提案: Give a clear opinion followed by two specific reasons and use linking words to organize your answer. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “broaden your skills,” “gain experience”) and keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I think people should try as many things as possible because it helps them gain experience and discover new interests. For instance, learning a new hobby can broaden your skills and improve creativity. Therefore, trying different activities can make life more satisfying and open up new opportunities.

× Well actually I got I did got many opportunity to join a new activity since my parents yeah my dad my dad is actually Asian parents.

✓ Well, actually I got many opportunities to join new activities because of my parents; my dad is from an Asian background.

The original sentence has pronoun and noun-number problems and awkward phrasing. Use 'I got' or 'I did get' but not both. 'Many opportunity' should be plural 'many opportunities'. 'A new activity' should be 'new activities' to match 'many'. 'Since my parents' is ambiguous for cause; use 'because of my parents'. 'My dad my dad is actually Asian parents' is ungrammatical; replace with 'my dad is from an Asian background' to convey meaning clearly. Suggestion: simplify to one verb form, make nouns agree in number, and clarify family background using singular subject for dad.

× He have always forced me to contact with more

✓ He has always forced me to contact more people.

Subject-verb agreement error: with third-person singular subject 'He' the auxiliary should be 'has' not 'have'. Also 'contact with more' is incomplete and unidiomatic; the correct phrase is 'contact more people' or 'have contact with more people'. Suggestion: use 'has' for third-person singular and complete the object after 'contact'.

× I would say you tried as it gave you experience experience.

✓ I would say you should try it because it gives you experience.

Tense and modal choice are inconsistent. The examiner's question is general; use present simple 'gives' to state a general truth. 'You tried' (past) is incorrect here; use 'try' (base) or 'should try' for advice. Remove repeated word 'experience'. Suggestion: use present simple for general statements and 'should' to give advice.

× Yeah. And you try lots of things, you you make your life more colorful and just give it a try and you know that's important.

✓ Yeah. If you try lots of things, you make your life more colorful, so just give it a try; that's important.

Mixed and repetitive phrasing with unclear condition. Use a clear conditional structure: 'If you try lots of things, you make your life more colorful.' Present simple is appropriate for general truths. Remove duplicated 'you' and combine clauses with appropriate connectors (so or therefore). Suggestion: streamline sentences, avoid repetition, and use present simple for habitual truths.