Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cụ thể: Trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và mạch lạc. Cần mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp (có/không + lý do ngắn gọn), tránh lặp từ và tiếng ậm ừ, sửa ngữ pháp (thì quá khứ, danh từ số ít/ nhiều) và cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ loại hoạt động, lý do) trong tối đa 5 câu. Dùng liên từ đơn giản để nối ý (because, so, but, although).

例: No, I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my family lived far from town and my parents were always busy. For example, there were no nearby clubs for sports or arts, so I couldn’t join extracurricular classes. As a result, I mostly spent my free time at home studying or reading.

提案: Cụ thể: Ý chính tốt nhưng diễn đạt lủng củng, nhiều tiếng ậm ừ và lỗi cấu trúc. Cần bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (Yes/No + lý do), dùng liên từ để giải thích (for example, because, which helps), tránh ngắt quãng, và đưa ví dụ cụ thể hoặc kết quả cụ thể của việc thử nhiều điều mới. Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu. Sửa lỗi collocation (step out of your comfort zone, broaden their horizons).

例: Yes, I believe people should try many different things because it helps them discover new interests and skills. For example, trying a new sport or learning a language can broaden your horizons and boost confidence. Ultimately, experimenting with different activities makes people more adaptable and open-minded.

× No, I distant, yeah, you know I don't I just don't have any opportunities to take up in the activity when I was a child because you know, I was quite a like it. Beside that my school distance have a lot of extracurricular and my parents were busy.

✓ No, I didn't. I just didn't have any opportunities to take part in activities when I was a child because I was quite shy. Besides that, my school didn't have many extracurricular activities and my parents were busy.

The original contains multiple sentence structure and verb errors. 'I distant' is incorrect; likely meant 'I didn't'. 'I don't I just don't have' is redundant and wrong tense for past; use past 'didn't have'. 'take up in the activity' is wrong preposition and noun form; correct is 'take part in activities'. 'I was quite a like it' is ungrammatical; likely 'I was quite shy'. 'Beside that' should be 'Besides that'. 'my school distance have a lot of extracurricular' has wrong word and subject-verb agreement; correct is 'my school didn't have many extracurricular activities'. Suggestions: break into clear sentences, use past tense consistently for childhood (didn't, was), use correct verbs and prepositions ('take part in'), and ensure subject-verb agreement ('school didn't have').

× Yeah, I think, uh, this is a good way for people to try as many a different things as possible.

✓ Yeah, I think this is a good way for people to try as many different things as possible.

Phrase 'as many a different things' is ungrammatical; use 'as many different things' or 'as many things as possible'. Remove extra article 'a' and unnecessary fillers. Keep word order 'as many different things as possible'.

× You know, umm, uh, uh, uh, stepping out there a comfort zone.

✓ You know, stepping out of their comfort zone.

Wrong preposition 'out there a' and incorrect possessive 'a comfort zone'. Correct preposition is 'out of' and possessive should be 'their' to match 'people'. Also remove filler sounds. Phrase becomes 'stepping out of their comfort zone'.

× I have some problem, uh, their horizons and they can, uh, fire into.

✓ They can broaden their horizons and explore new opportunities.

Original is confused and lacks proper verbs and objects. 'I have some problem' mismatches subject and idea. 'Their horizons' needs a verb like 'broaden'. 'fire into' is incorrect idiom. Suggested correction uses 'broaden their horizons' and 'explore new opportunities' to convey intended meaning. Use clear subject 'they' and correct verb phrases.