Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Correct plural/singular and avoid filler phrases like “etcetera.”

例: Yes. At school I had many opportunities to try new activities. For example, I joined a nature club where we planted trees and went on wildlife walks, and I also took part in weekly sports games such as football and relay races. These experiences helped me learn teamwork and develop an interest in the outdoors.

提案: State your opinion directly, then give a clear reason and a concrete example. Use correct verb forms and linking words (because, for example, therefore). Avoid vague phrasing like “do the experiments.”

例: Yes, I think people should try different things because it helps them learn and grow. For example, trying new hobbies or jobs can reveal hidden talents and improve confidence, so people often make better life choices as a result.

× Yes, during the school time, I got a lots of opportunity to take part in a new activities and there are different kind of activities related to nature or games, etcetera, etcetera.

✓ Yes, during school, I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities, and there were different kinds of activities related to nature or games, etc.

Errors: 'a lots of' is incorrect — use 'a lot of' or 'lots of' without 'a'; 'opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' to match 'a lot of'; 'a new activities' mixes singular article with plural noun — remove 'a' and use 'new activities'; 'there are different kind of' should be 'there were different kinds of' to match plural and past tense. Suggestions: use correct quantifier forms ('a lot of' or 'lots of') and ensure noun number agrees (singular/plural), match verb tense to past ('were').

× Yes, according to me, people should experience on new things.

✓ Yes, I think people should try new things.

Errors: 'according to me' is unnatural — use 'I think' or 'in my opinion'; 'should experience on' is incorrect collocation — 'experience' does not take 'on' here; 'new things' is fine. Suggestion: use appropriate verb collocations ('try new things' or 'experience new things') and natural opinion phrases.

× I do the experiments and improve their life throughout the life.

✓ I try new things and improve my life throughout my life.

Errors: 'I do the experiments' is odd in this context — better 'I try new things'; 'improve their life' uses wrong pronoun (their) when subject is 'I' — should be 'my life'; 'throughout the life' is unclear and ungrammatical — 'throughout my life' or 'throughout life' is correct. Suggestions: keep subject pronoun consistent, use natural verbs for the context, and use correct time expressions ('throughout my life').